Mercedes Lackey

I love the Valdemar books by Mercedes Lackey. The characters are wonderful, and the stories are touching. But they've always left me slightly uneasy as a writer. I have finally figured out why.

I'm going to have to go over a few things before explaining it exactly. Specifically, the narrative voice. There's a few types of third-person narrations a writer can use. The first is the type which knows everything one character is thinking and feeling. The second is the type which knows what all characters are thinking and feeling. And the third is the type which doesn't know what any of the characters are thinking or feeling. Many authors will use the first type, but switch character perspectives between the different scenes.

Here's my problem with the Valdemar Series. She uses the first type, switching characters between scenes. All right, that's fine. But, she has this tendency to narrate as though it's the character themselves thinking about it, while still referring to the character in the third person. It makes it really difficult to separate the characters from the narration. To make matters worse, sometimes in the same scene it switches which character the narration is focusing on. The one thing about it which might be considered good by some people is that it has the effect of drawing the reader further in to the story. The problem is that it leaves the reader slightly confused.

Now, I specify that it's my problem with the Valdemar series, because I haven't read the other ones well enough. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe her other books don't do that as much. I can't know that. I just know that it annoys the hell out of me.

My other problem with the Valdemar series is the over-use of shock-value tactics. Just like using the word "fuck" all the time limits the impact of the word, if every few paragraphs is a single-sentence paragraph, and every few sentences has interrupts sprinkled throughout, they aren't as powerful. But maybe that's the point... Also, it feels like every other sentence she writes starts with a contraction (and, but...). You're not supposed to do that, but it's okay to do it once in awhile, again, for shock to emphasize it. Plus, people tend to think that way, so doing it in the string of thought areas is fine. But as I said, she writes the narration part as though it's the same as the thought-part. One thing I didn't say is that the characters have a tendency to interrupt the narration. Again, once in a while, this can be used, but she uses it at least three times a scene.

I will always love the Valdemar series. This is the series that taught me what empathy is, and how to look at myself and tell if an emotion is coming from within me, or from someone else, and how to block it out if it's coming from someone else. This is the series that opened my mind to the idea that same-sex pairings are okay, and primed me to be able to accept the idea of multiple partners being okay (which Stranger in a Strange land then completed the opening.) Even with that, the writing is... well, it's not good. I won't say it's terrible, it certainly elicits an emotion from the reader, and certain parts give very vivid images. I don't get as good a "movie" from it as from others, simply because the little cues aren't always there. But it's not terrible.