So, um... Hi.
I've been gone for such a long time... I thought, you guys deserve an explanation about it all. So, let's see. The last you all heard, I think was when I got my new job. A bit of context to help you understand the metaphor I'm using here. I have a phobia that I generalize as a phobia of bathrooms, but is really a phobia of bodily waste, with an emphasis on shit, and a separate emphasis on my own bodily waste causing a mess. So when I say "the universe dumped a pile of shit" I'm talking something major, that affects me deeply, and changes my life somehow.
End of June- I get out of training and start my new job.
Early July- I start thinking I can get back on camera once the next red week is over.
Mid July- The universe dumps a pile of shit on me. Cue the shock.
August 2nd- The universe dumps a pile of shit on my partner when I've just barely gotten my head out. Cue deeper shock.
August 4th- the shock ends and I break from the strain.
August 31st- partner is fired due to having been gone from work for so long (I don't blame him considering what his pile of shit was).
September 16th- We can almost breathe again when the universe dumps a third pile of shit on both of us.
The first pile of shit, I haven't heard on the status of it in awhile. I need to get on finding out about it, but I've been a bit busy dealing with all the rest of the shit.
The second pile of shit is not the kind of thing that can get resolved.
The third pile of shit is not going to be finished being resolved for at least a month, possibly longer. (It required moving out of our apartment while they repair some damages, and we'll be moving back in once they're done with the repairs)
Here's the problem. I broke. Like, really, truly broke. This changed me. I'm basically... who I would've been just out of college if I hadn't had any friends in high school or college and hadn't had a fuckbuddy in college.
I will no longer be offering toys.
I will no longer be offering any kind of bdsm play, regardless of who is on top.
I will not even be doing spankings anymore.
I offer dancing, stretching, exercises, nudity, clothing, costumes, panty-play (no stuffing), stockings, hose, fingers-in-pussy, oil play, lotion play. Please note- for oil I will have to get it from another room. All nudity is now paid shows only. Not even flashes for tips. I will still change clothes for tips, and as always that will be done off-camera.
Moving out has left me exhausted. I need a couple days to recover. Hopefully, the universe has run out of piles of shit to drop on us. But I can't count on that. So no promises. Only this- I will try. I will try to get on for a few hours Sunday evenings. I will try to get on for an hour after work- but they started me on the flex-schedule, so when I can do that hour will vary.
Getting back on once I was used to the new job was always the plan, even before he lost his job. I just wasn't planning to have to change things this drastically.
Take care everyone. See you online.