Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Not-so Tiny Toys


I saw some videos that feminists are worried because girls toys and boys toys are kept in separate isles in the toy stores. Boy, is that being nitpicky.

I'm much more worried about the fact that parents these days can't say no. Why? I believe this phenomenon is behind the ballooning of all the little girl's toys which used to be tiny. Say what? Poly fucking Pocket. Have you seen what she looks like today? Body as big as a few fingers with a head like a bouncy-ball. The fear of lawsuits has ruined the wonder of being able to fit an entire world in your pocket. I wish kids today could have that wonder.

It being in the "little girl's isle" never stopped my brother! He and I collected the damn things. And we loved them. Polly was so tiny, and the animals she interacted with were even smaller. I loved it. I made tiny little clay animals, but they never got fired so they never lasted. These lasted. I was careful. I think out of hundreds of tiny pieces, I lost a whole 2. My brother and I would bring them into my bedroom and make little towns, nay, cities. Poly Pocket and the giant (in comparison) Littlest Petshop toys, all our sets arranged in a circle in the middle of my room. We left that thing up for two weeks, and it kept us busy in the mornings while we waited for Mom to get up.

We played nice with them. They were too small for us to do anything else. Give us Barbie and Beanie Babies and we started making guns and tanks out of K'Nex and Lego. But Poly, well, she was as small as the tiniest K'Nex piece! There was no way for us to do anything with that but build towns and play nice.

But today, you can't fit Poly's world in your pocket. You can barely fit Poly in your pocket.

So, why do I blame parents who can't say no? Well, think about it. These toys were tiny. They weren't meant for kids who still put things in their mouths. Back when I was growing up, a parent said "no", it didn't happen (in most households, there were a few with the spoiled kids). So parents could get away with "it's too small, you can have it when you're older." But now-a-days, that won't fly. So a three-year-old takes a liking to Poly Pocket, the parent gets it for them. And the three-year-old chokes on Poly Pocket. And the parent, instead of taking responsibility for having let their kid play with something before the kid has learned not to suck on toys, sues the company. And in today's legal system, they might actually win. It's a travesty.

And think of the religious applications. You know that song "he's got the whole world in his hands"? This could really bring that idea home for kids. (Despite not really being religious, I heartily believe that church was one of the things that saved me from the fate of many other foster kids. And what saved me from getting spoiled by that one family who bought me the army of Poly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop. The other half, of course, was the people, but with parents the way they are now, I have my money on churches.) I mean, you could put Poly's world in your hands and maybe get a glimpse of how hard God has it. You can't see much detail in Poly's world. The big things are all there but the little things don't exist to you. But they exist to Poly. Great explanation (if a tad unorthodox) for why God might not grant you that bike you prayed for. And why you should really only pray for the big things.

But no, instead, they have to make Poly bigger, so they can go into the details. Bigger, so you can't fit her world in your pocket. Bigger, so you don't have to be quite as careful to avoid losing the pieces. Bigger so you don't have to be smart enough to not put her in your mouth. Bigger so you can make guns out of K'Nex for Poly to go on a shooting spree.

Thanks.


Sunday, June 2, 2013