Insights- Aggression

There's a bit of a debate about whether the human male or the human female is more aggressive. Why the debate? Well, the females are well known for using passive-aggressiveness, for hanging on to a grudge, and for seeking the worst sorts of revenge. The human males are known for having their altercation, fighting it out, and moving on (unless the wrong involves hurting someone they actually care about, then it gets ugly). But, the males are more about physical aggression, while the females are more about emotional aggression. The males will settle by punching, but the females settle by ridicule, shunning, and other such tricks. The male's aggression looks worse, but, barring actual death, the female's aggression takes longer and is more damaging to the target in the long run (it takes longer to fix a broken spirit than a broken arm, after all). Thus the debate.

But I think it's more than that.

Consider in the wild. The species which are aggressive are those which eat meat. The species which aren't aggressive don't eat meat. (I won't say eat plants, because omnivores fall under eat meat category). Non-aggressive species tend to hide, run if they can't hide, and only fight if they are forced to. The only way to force them is to attack another member of their group, or to corner them. However, during mating season, a male becomes dangerous, because he will attack. So, we could say that the males are more aggressive among the more peaceful species.

In the aggressive species, the whole species will attack to defend their territory, not just their people. They also attack for food, but I won't count that as aggression, not because it's not aggressive behavior, but because the motivation is hunger, which isn't necessarily aggressive. Among these species, the only reason a male will attack another of the same species is dominance/possession issues, as well as the familiar quick revenge match we see in human males. (Don't take my mate/territory, or I am higher than you are, or That hurt!) But the females will nip and bother, attacking for any and all reasons. When defending their young, the females are always accepted as being more aggressive. So in meat eaters, in aggressive species, the female is the more aggressive one.

Now look at humans. Not the in-group aggression, but the out of group aggression. We are evolved to be omnivores, eating both meat and plants. But how many people try to live off of just plants? We tend to attack to defend our territory, but our ideals are to only defend our persons. In short, we are an aggressive species, but we want to believe we are not. Since we are, in fact, aggressive, then we can say with confidence that the females are actually the more aggressive half, but since we want to believe we are not, we try to prove over and over again that the males are the more aggressive half. It also results in us socializing our boys to be more aggressive, but it only really gets directed against the out-group. Girls and women are still very aggressive towards even peers within their group.

So there you have it. The fight is not just about who is more aggressive within the species, but about the nature of our species as a whole. I hate to say it guys, but we are an aggressive species.

Video Suggestions- What NOT to do

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Human Psychology

I've been doing a lot of thinking about a few different aspects of human psychology. Here's some of those thoughts.

The higher a person's IQ is, the more prone they are to depression. Why?

My theory is this: people with high IQ's look around the world and see the stupidity and selfishness of other people. They see the stupidity and selfishness in themselves. They are less able to believe excuses for these things that other people tell themselves. So they feel that the world is a shit place to live, and that people are shitty, and that it includes themselves.

People are inherently both selfish and giving.

All living organisms evolved from the initial protozoa. If you believe that, as I do, and most scientists do, then you believe that all organisms evolved from a creature whose only concern in life was it's own survival. This makes every living thing out there selfish. We have to be at least slightly selfish. After all, if no one is looking out for our needs, we will die. Who better to look out for your needs than you, yourself? The problem comes when people aren't taught to distinguish between need and want. Then, we say they are being selfish. But really, providing your own needs is also selfish, and it is also good. Selfishness is only bad when it hurts others needlessly, when it denies other people their right to life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness.

But, like many other warm-blooded creatures, we also evolved to help each other. To cooperate, share our strengths, and build something greater.

Random- have you ever noticed that someone who is incapable of empathy is called "cold-blooded"? Cold blooded creatures don't seem to cooperate as much as warm-blooded creatures do. Oh sure, they'll cooperate with a mate to raise their offspring, but beyond that they don't form communities and pool resources. The cold blooded creatures who do cooperate are much more rare.

Back on topic- so we have evolved to not only provide for our own needs, but also to share our resources with the group. You see that in how, when getting rid of something, even the most selfish person will look to give it to someone else before throwing it out. "I don't want this anymore, do you want it?"

Everyone craves connections to other humans.

Humans are social creatures. We want to connect to another living being. It's why people who live alone get pets. It's why, when you hear about a sociopathic killer, there's always that one person in their life that they would do anything to protect. The difference is in how many people we want to connect with, and how deeply. The more deeply a person tends to connect to others, the fewer people they tend to want to connect with. Thus, people who have a ton of friends tend to be "shallow". They connect with all those people, but they don't have a very deep connection with them.

How we connect also changes. Some of us feel connections by giving gifts. Others by physically touching. Others by saying positive things. Others by doing something for someone else. Still others, simply by being together, doing the same thing. We all do all five of these things to feel connections with others, and feel connections to others who do these things for us. When the connection is strong enough, we call it "love". And most people would agree that a working definition for the emotion of love is that you value the other person's happiness. So, we feel connections to other people when we do things that make that person happy, and when they do things for us which make us happy. Which is why, in English at least, the word love is usually a verb, and sometimes a noun, but almost never an adjective*. The other emotions are adjectives. But not love.

*I say "almost never", because while I can't think of any instance in which love is used as an adjective, I'm not confident that it doesn't exist.

Recipe- Ginger Peach Cookies

A webcomic I love reading, Girls With Slingshots, recently posted a recipe. I asked for, and received, permission to share it here. I have not gotten to try them, but they look really good, so I will definitely be trying them sometime soonish.

Here you go:

Enjoy!

Love, Religion, God

For Thanksgiving (Americans celebrate this on the last Thursday of November) this year, I went to see my biological family. Dad reminded me of something that I had forgotten. He reminded me that every single one of us has access to a wellspring of love. Some people call the source of this love God (as my father does). Whatever you want to call it, humans are capable of touching an incredible love that is so strong, it drowns out all else. Every human can touch it. Once touched, it can be hoarded, in which case it gets harder and harder to touch it. Or it can be shared with other living beings, in which case it gets easier and easier to touch it. But every one of us can touch it, can feel it.

I believe that the purpose of our lives is to spread as much of this love in the world as possible. I believe that Buddhism and Christianity were attempts by real, living people to show other people how to spread this love. Buddhism is currently more successful, as a lot of people twist the message of "Jesus Christ" (I don't believe that's his real name, but it's how we remember him) into a message of hate. But it's possible that Buddhism had been twisted in such ways back when it was new.

I believe that when we die, we will be shown everything we did in our lives. And what we recognize and feel about it is what determines what happens.

1. The person accepts the bad things they did, and forgives themselves for it, while reveling in the good that they did.
2. The person does not accept the bad things they did, and/or cannot forgive themselves for it.
3. The person revels in the bad things they did, and abhors the good.

In the second case, the person is forced to watch it again and again, until they come to terms with it. There is escape from this: accept that some of the things you did really were bad, and forgive yourself for it. Then you bump up to the first.

In the first case, the person is giving a choice of where to go. I do not know, but I hope, that the person can leave messages for loved ones who follow, explaining their own choice, and get such messages from loved ones who preceded.

In the third case, I believe the person is destroyed, the soul rejected.

What evidence do I have for any of what I say? The only bit I have is this: every person reading this can access the wellspring of love. Open your "heart", and feel the love. Realize that some of that is for you- you are loved. Just for being alive, you are loved. Unconditionally. No matter what you have done, what you think you have done, you are loved.

I do not believe hell exists. Those who are beyond redemption are destroyed. Those who could be redeemed but refuse it, are trapped in something that seems like hell. But it's not hell as we think of it, because they can break free, if they only learn to love themselves despite what they've done. If they accept and forgive.

So.

1. You are loved.
2. You have access to a wellspring of love.
3. Your task is to spread the love from this wellspring through the world, in any way, shape, or form.
4. When you are shown the evils that you did, repent them, accept that they were evil, that you really did do them, and forgive yourself for them.

As for me, I want to go to a universe where magic and unicorns exist. Where I can be immortal and learn everything there is to know. Where I don't have to experience pain, but if I want to, I can. Where hurts and sickness can be experienced or healed outright. Where things can be as challenging or easy as I want them to be at that moment.

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The bible. It's not the literal word of God. It was inspired by something. Call it God if you want. But whatever inspired the bible does not speak any human language. So the original writings were already translations. And they were translating ideas that humans didn't have words for, into human words. It's like trying to translate concepts of weather from Eskimo into Hawaiian before the Europeans came along (note1). Stuff is going to get weird.

Then, after you've taken an inhuman language and translated it into human, you've got people coming along translating the translation into other languages.

So, the old testament is a recording of the oral traditions of the Hebrew nation. Some of those stories, they believed to be true at the time. Some of them, they related as truth, but were fable, parables, not meant to be taken literally. Each one was meant to teach a lesson, or tell one person's story as it was perceived by someone close to the original person, then passed down from person to person by word of mouth. Ever play telephone? How about a more accurate version, where you can actually talk in a low voice to the next person. Stories get exaggerated in the telling. Girls do it. Boys do it. Everyone does it. We exaggerate. Or understate. 10 people becomes 100, and 100 people becomes 10, so damn easy.

There is one verse in the bible which can definitely be taken literally. Well, one chapter, really. Lots of people love this one, and for good reason. It speaks a greater truth.

1 Corinthians 13

        1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

        4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

        8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

        13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

And yet, even this is messed up. Many people use only the middle paragraph, but they put the first sentence of the second paragraph as being the end of the thought. It's not the end of the thought. It's the beginning of a new point: that love is the only thing that never fails. That wellspring of love which each of us can touch will never fail. It will always be there. All you have to do is touch it, and spread it. Show it to other people through your actions. Treat people will love and respect, with decency that used to be common. You don't have to swear by Jesus to access this love. You don't have to go to church to access this love. You don't have to sing praises, though you might want to when you really feel it. All you have to do is open your "heart", and let it in, then open your self, and let it out.



Note 1: Eskimo into Hawaiian because Eskimos know everything about weather that Hawaiians know, plus they know about frozen things, while Hawaiians don't. Sure, Hawaiians have storms that Eskimos don't have, but hurricane can translate into "sea-storm which destroys villages". How do you translate "snow" into a language that doesn't even have a concept of "frozen"? "water which is hard as a rock" might do for ice, but "dust which makes you cold as death" will get translated as "poisonous dust", not snow.

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So yeah, that's my message to everyone. Let in the love. Let the love shine through you. You will be happier, better able to deal with what you have, and what you don't have.

I love you.

Thanksgiving Video Special

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Thanksgiving Special

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I really hate to be beggy, but I''m in a fix. Please guys, I need your help. I just need 14 people to buy the special, or a bunch of people to buy videos, and I'll be fine.

Why I don't just get on camera and make it? Because it's not my normal hours, and I don't make any money usually away from my normal hours. I need this money before the payperiod ends, and my next MFC day is Sunday, the first.

Thank you to everyone who participates, and I hope you have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving!

Moving Updates

I has internetz!

There are boxes everywhere, and furniture in the wrong room, and shit's all mixed up. Yay moving? But but BUT... my camroom is mostly setup. I still need to do the curtains, especially as my camera will be facing the window O.O. And there's a lot of organizing and changing what's in drawers and what's in bins to do. The bed is a new bed (mattress and box spring, no frame yet), so I can safely stand on it. There's a bunch of stuff in the room that doesn't need to be in there, so it's really crowded and I won't be able to dance, but I can stand and pose on the floor.

I will try to have it all ready by tonight, but I might not be able to work until tomorrow. Right now, I'm working on getting the kitchen unpacked and set up so I can eat something other than microwaved leftovers and microwave food. If I have to, I can wait until the sun is down to get on camera without the curtains.

There will be no virtual tours of the room until it's ready. Since that includes hiding some wiring and a couple pipes, it might be a few months. Yes, I know, that doesn't sound nice. It doesn't look nice, but as long as I don't put anything over there that I need on camera and am careful when using stuff by it the rest of the time (mostly right now there's stuff around it that's never used), I'll be fine.

The bathroom... well, they never got around to installing the new vanity. So it's sitting in the only real floor space of the bathroom, in front of the toilet and the old vanity (which does still work). So no shower shows until we can get that taken care of. If we're here that long. And the washer and dryer, we don't have yet.

So yeah, pretty much every reason this place was going to be a better place than the apartment we moved out of is currently moot, but we'll get there. We'll get there. At the very least, we have a yard to take care of, so we can get used to that aspect and used to having a shed outside to keep stuff that just needs to be kept out of wind and rain.

It's an adventure!

Moving in Progress

Well, I'm in the progress of moving, so what I have available in my camroom is somewhat limited, but not as much as you might think.

Here's what I have:

-my dice (though some items needed for certain things on the d20 are not here, so you'll have to deal with substitutions if you want that one.)

-my 3 leather cuffs
-3 6" ropes (the shortest ones)
-nipple clips
-spanking implements
-panty hose
-thigh-high nylons
-glass dildo, jelly dildo, mona lelo vibe
-random panty drawer (this means those types that I only have a couple of, not the ones that I have a lot of)
-thongs
-ball gag
-leash and collar
-ben wa balls
-hair ties
-hair brush
-lotion

and of course, anything attached to me remains here.

Bad Assumptions

There are two wrong assumptions that I can't seem to get away from. One is just an annoyance. The other is kinda serious.

1. Gagging (the annoyance)

I like to suck. I'm honest about how much I like to suck. I can't deep throat, because there's only 4 or 5 inches before whatever I'm trying to shove in there hits my voice box. I'm a small person. I occasionally get someone who wants a gagging show. I don't do gagging shows.

Why not? Because gagging is what happens before you throw up. I HATE anything to do with throwing up. I hate the act. I hate the precursor to the act. I hate dry-heaving. I hate gagging.

Today, someone asked me to gag, then took me private without me having a chance to say that I don't gag. He left before the rest of everything he wanted because... I don't gag. Not on purpose. I do everything I can to avoid gagging. I don't find it sexy. it's a huge turn-off for me.

2. Spanking (the problem)

I enjoy being spanked. A lot of people out there have this belief that it should be done as part of a "bad girl" funishment roleplay thing. NO. I am submissive. I like doing what I'm told. I like doing the right thing. I don't like the idea that I did something wrong. If you mix up spanking with any implication that I did something less-than-perfect, I can't enjoy the spanking, and I start to fear the spanking, and pretty soon I start to cringe away from the person who does it as though I'm expecting to be punished for no reason. It fucks with me too much.

I want you to tell me how good I've been, then spank me and fuck me silly. I want you to be very careful that physical pain doesn't turn into psychological pain as well. I want to hear the words "good girl" as I feel the bite of whatever you're using on my ass. I want you to coddle my mind while you abuse my body.

That's really all I had to say. But it had to be said. Because the one was last night, and the other was just now.

Clones and Eternal Youth

I have a limited knowledge of how genes work. So, I'm going off of my basic understanding for this.

The most important question in the subject of clones and eternal youth used to be "what makes us age?" We have the answer to that, and in the answer we found out why clones die early and other such information. What I'm going to say relies heavily on this, so I need to detail what we found.

At the tail end of the molecules which make up our genes is a random bunch that don't mean anything. As our cells replicate using those strands of DNA, the tail end that means nothing slowly disappears. When that end is gone, the molecules which make up the important bits of our DNA start to disappear. When the brake-down becomes too much for the body to handle, the person dies.

The issue with cloning is that when we make a clone from an adult, the tail end of DNA which determines how long the clone will live is the same length as the adult its cells were taken from. To fix this, we need to either make our clones while the original is still just a few cells. Or, we can take one of those cells from when the original is really young, and store what the sequence is. Then, we can use gene therapy to add the missing bits before making the clones.

Here's the point. If we can figure out how to extend the length of the tail end of the genes which belong to someone who is already alive, we can have the fabled eternal youth. We can also make clones which do not die too soon. I think the first thing is to see if the tail end has to be something specific, or if it can be anything. If it can be anything, we can just make a sequence to throw on there. If we can figure out how to make it, we won't even need to try to harvest cells from a fetus.

My guess is that there are a number of different sequences which will work for each species, but that only closely related species will be able to use the same sets of sequences. But that's not for me to figure out.

Why did I feel it necessary to point this out? Because I believe I remember people saying that they need to figure out how to stop the loss of the tail, instead of figuring out how to add more to the tail as it disappears. And I realized that the same technology which allows them to make rats glow using genes from a jellyfish would allow them to insert more "tail" on the genes.