My Pussy

My pussy is pink. It is small, because I am a small person. My outer Labia are big. My inner labia are small. The hair on my pussy grows slowly, and is very light so the camera has a hard time picking it up. My pussy hair appears mostly blonde, with brown and red highlights, when it's long enough. On the camera, it appears as a yellowish discoloration on my pussy. My pussy has freckles, which sometimes I mistake for hair that's not properly shaved.

When I was six, my biological mother touched it for a moment. I had asked what "it" felt like, it being sex, but I didn't know that's what it was called at the time. It was part of my "where do babies come from" talk, while waiting for my bath.

When I was eleven, I discovered that if I imagined sex, it would tingle in a way that made me feel like I had to pee.

When I was thirteen, I fell on it. I was on a jungle gym, and my brother put his hand where I needed to put my foot. I couldn't go back. I couldn't go forward. I tried to extend and put my foot somewhere else, and missed, and hit his hand. He pulled his hand back and yelled. I slipped and was up in the air for a moment, then landed with the metal bar between my legs, my pussy getting all my weight in the form of a fall. This resulted in a small cut just inside my inner labia. There was a lot of blood, so we know that it was from three sources- my first period, the cut, and my cherry being popped.

when I was 14, I discovered that using tampons extended my period by three days. I theorized that tampons were reopening my cut, and stopped using them.

When I was 15, I swore off the sexual fantasies.

When I was 19, a man touched it for the first time.
A few months later, his dick was inserted for the first time.

When I was 22, I started masturbating.

When I was 23, a different man cam in it for the first time.

To this day, only three people besides myself have touched it. And only one man has ever cum in it.

Golden Shower and Other Dirty Stuff

WARNING: The following post contains things that may be considered too much information for some people.

The first part is about my first ever golden shower. The second, is about shit. The third part is about anal. Enjoy.

---GOLDEN SHOWER---
(this is probably not gonna be as sexy as a lot of you hoped, but it will be accurate. ^_^)

He asked me when I was going to take a shower, with the camera in his hand. I muttered through a bunch of things, and finally agreed that I could take the shower before we went on errands. His response was "good, cause I can't hold it all day"

That's when I was clued in to it being my first ever golden shower. I muttered some more and then said I was ready to do it then. So, I stripped my clothes off in the bedroom, then went to the bathroom, pulled the shower curtain totally out of the way, and knelt in the tub. A bit later, he entered.

I fiddled with my positioning. He took aim, and it started. The first bit hit me a little high, so some of it got in my mouth. The first thing I noticed was the smell. First piss of the day always has a strong smell. The second thing I noticed was the strength. Damn a lot of piss was coming out all at once! The third thing I noticed was the taste. Some of it got in my mouth. Very salty, and a little... well, there's a reason they say bad beer tastes like piss.

Then I noticed the warmth. Just about then, it diminished and stopped for a moment. then it picked back up. He mentioned that I didn't seem to be enjoying it. I said that I was, and made an effort to actually let my enjoyment show. I started acting like it was raining lotion, rubbing it in to my skin. A few more starts and stops later, and it was a long pause. I wondered if it was actually done. He put the camera away, and said I could've done more or talked more. I said I didn't know what to do- every golden shower vid I've watched the girl didn't do more than what I did, and proceeded to take my shower.

End story.

----SHIT----

Taking a shit as a model who does anal shows is a bit different than taking a shit as a normal person.

Let me explain. As a normal person, if I'm having trouble squeezing that last little bit out, no big deal. Wipe off whatever's easily accessible, and off I go.

As a model who accepts anal shows (currently only with a finger in my ass), I don't want any shit up there. So if there's a little bit that's giving me trouble, and I'm going to be on camera soon, I scrunch my face, tense every muscle in my body and force that last little bit out! I don't want to stick my finger up there and touch it!

So yeah, that's all I was gonna say about that.

----ANAL----

I was telling a friend the other day, anal with real dicks is difficult to get right. I figured it out using a toy. There are two methods. One is slow, involves no pain, and only mild discomfort. The other is quick, involves a bit of pain at the beginning, but after that all is well. And both require a lot of lube. Not just spit either. I use equate personal lubricant. It's a jelly consistency, and has no glycerin to mess with urinary tracts. I actually prefer it to the other types I've tried, which were all too watery for me.

THE SLOW METHOD

Start with one finger, when that is nice and comfy, slowly add another. And another. When you've gotten at least all four, if not your whole hand in, you can handle a dick.

THE "QUICK" METHOD

put the tip of the dick in the asshole. Pull out. Wait for the pain to subside and relaxation of the anal muscles. Repeat as often as necessary until there is no pain. Then insert slowly, and go to town!

A FINAL NOTE

Gentlemen, if you are afraid of getting shit on your dick, DO NOT DO ANAL. You being uptight about it at all could make the girl nervous. If the girl is nervous, she will be tense, and it will hurt. You want the girl as relaxed as possible. Do whatever she needs to help her relax.

---END TMI---

For those of you who read, I appreciate it.  For those of you who didn't, no hard feelings.

Warning

THE FOLLOWING POST MAY CREEP SOME OF YOU OUT.

I have discovered that I really like tentacle porn. I mean, really like it, as in it makes my clit throb like it.

I have also known for awhile that I like watching consensual pain. Not real torture, where the person in pain didn't want it. But where the person goes in smiling, and smiles at the end saying that it was awesome or great or something. Or obviously staged rape scenes. mmm But again, I need to know that it was consensual. Watching something too realistic, where I can't tell it was a staged scene, no good. Can't get in to it. Best kind is when the person is doing it to themselves, second best is when they sit mostly still while it's done to them, and they're not struggling at all. Flinching is fine, that's a natural reaction even when you're expecting it.

I guess the reason I can watch tentacle rape where it's not obvious the girl is enjoying herself is cause it's obviously fake. Kinda like how I can watch rape hentai and not be bothered, cause it's a cartoon.

ALSO

Today (well, at this point, yesterday afternoon... but I still count it as this morning, damn it!), I had my first golden shower. I liked it. It was filmed, but it has to pass his approval before I can sell it. I do plan, however, on writing out the experience. I'll let you all know how that goes.

See you later!

Recipe

Okay, so, I love this recipe. I love it so much, I gotta share it.

Before I do, the original is in the book "Fix-it and ENJOY-IT! cookbook" by Phyllis Pellman Good, on page 103, called Polynesian Chicken. Claims to make 6 servings.

Here's what you need:

6 chicken breast halves
1 onion, sliced (recipe calls for rings, I do thin half-rings)
1 can of sliced peaches (normal size can, 16 oz or so)- drained
1 can of dark sweet cherries (again, 16 oz or so)- drained
1 cup sweet-and-sour sauce
1 cup barbecue sauce (original)

1 glass bake pan (first time, I used a small square one, and it overflowed a bit, but was fine. Second time, I did it their way in a large rectangular one, and it was fine, but the chicken was really dry. But I always find chicken dry when cooked right. Third time, I did it my way in the large rectangular one and DAMN THAT'S GOOD)

Now, the way I make it is a bit different than the way the recipe says. It says to layer everything in the bottom of the pan in order, then pop it covered in the oven for 30 minutes followed by uncovered for 45 minutes, all at 350 deg.

The way I do it, bake time is the same. BUT, I cut the chicken into 1 inch cubes, then layer everything but the sauces. I mix the sauces outside the pan. I've done it to the recipe after having done it my way once, and I have to say, I like my way better.

Why share this here? Because I made it two days ago, and I"m having it for leftovers today, and damn, it's good. I love this recipe!

Moving

There so much stuff! No wonder I'd rather just settle down. Packing and sorting all this stuff is so exhausting, yet what else can I do? I'm required to keep records of my expenses for seven fucking years in case the IRS decides to audit me. There's all sorts of pictures from my childhood. There's a million clothes, and a bunch of toys and lingerie. And heirlooms. These are not things that should be in an apartment, where they burden me every time I move! These are things for someone who has settled down, someone who lives in a house. Do I want the house because I hold so much stuff, and am sick of moving it? Or do I hold so much stuff because I want a house, and am trying to force myself to get one?

Part of me longs for the freedom of the road. For the ability to pick everything up and move on a moment's notice, and not have to worry about where money comes from or what dangers I might face on the way. Part of me longs for the security of a house, to connect to the roots that extend far past me in both families, adoptive and biological. A place I can call my own, and never worry about anyone taking it away from me. A place I can hold all my stuff.

Nicest, I think, would be both. To have the money to have a home base where I spend most of my time, but twice a year travel to far off places, and experience different cultures. But that seems as futile to me as longing for a culture in which a person is accepted as they are, no matter what they are, without trying to change them with medicines and other such shit. Trying to "fix" their minds or emotions, instead of letting them live every glorious and painful moment. As long as they don't hurt anyone but themselves, who cares? Why care?

I care about the truth. I care that people take care of other people's things. But only because other people's things cost money, and I now know just how hard it is to earn money for things other than necessities. And it makes me sick, just how much money makes this world go around. It makes me sick, how much control money has over our government.

America is a government that is supposed to be run BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE. And yet, our government decided to make corporations people. So now, it's run by the businesses, for the businesses. And that makes me sick.

UpDate and Move

So, here's what's up...

Those two weeks of being in pain really killed my finances. I have to scramble to keep up. I'm tired of trying to scramble, I'm tired of this state. I miss the state I graduated in. I'm tired of fighting with my partner about how his family takes all the time he needs to keep up with his responsibilities at home. I'm tired of all that shit. I'm tired of the gray atmosphere this town has. We have decided to move.

Now, best case scenario: we move with everything here taken care of. That will be at the beginning of April. This is what it would take:


Feb & March Rent: $950
Electricity: $300
Gas Utility: $350
Internet: $300
Car Payments: $400
Gas in Car: $500
Laundry: $100
Food On Trip: $100
Cell Phones: $200
Rent a Truck & Trailer: $1,000
(one of our cars is too broken to make the drive without repairs, but the repairs would cost $2200)
Gas in Truck: $450
Rent & Deposit: $800
Hotel: $400
Emergency: $300
-----
$6150

Worst Case Scenario:

We leave with bills about to shut off, but enough money to take everything with us. Going by Late March:


Feb Rent: $450
Electricity: $120
Gas Utility: $170
Internet: $150
Car Payments: $400
Gas in Car: $500
Laundry: $100
Food On Trip: $100
Cell Phone: $100
Rent a Truck & Trailer: $1,000
(one of our cars is too broken to make the drive without repairs, but the repairs would cost $2200)
Gas in Truck: $450
Rent & Deposit: $800
-----
$4340


Since this means earning a lot of money really quickly, I need to focus on Streamate. But you can help! If you send money to my chipin, you'll receive the password to my thank you album on MFC, as well as your choice of any picset. And if we get enough the whole amount before it's time to leave, I can leave off streamate and cam on MFC for awhile. ^_^

Just send money here, and only say "for the move".

http://evematteo.chipin.com/moving

The Pain, Oh the Pain!

My shoulder heals best when I avoid things that make it tense. Hence, this will be a brief post.

For those who were sent here by trying to pm:
Due to the avoidence of typing after I make this post, please do one of the following things:

-for an immediate reply, ask in public with your sound on. I will not be typing a response anytime soon.
-if you have patience and it's a private matter, send me an mfc mail. I will reply when my shoulder has gotten better.
-if you have no sound or wish a private reply, and have no patience to wait, then there is nothing I can do for you.
-I will not be doing any group or private shows until my shoulder can tense without pain. Cumming first causes all muscles to tense, so I cannot do that, and without being able to cum, what's the point of a group? With my shoulder as it is, I dare not give over control as is needed in a private.

UPDATE ON SHOULDER:

To illustrate what is happening with my shoulder, I will use numbers. Higher is more pain, but it does not show anything but what the pain is.

Let's say Monday was a 10 in pain. Tuesday was then a 6, Wendesday was an 8, Thursday was a 2, and today is a 4. So you see, the shoulder gets better, then worse, then better, then worse, but never as bad as it was.

To put it into perspective, on New Years Eve, I was taking 600 mg of Ibuprofen every 3 hours. The next day, it was every 5 hours. The day after, every 4 hours. Eventually, I got some icy-hot. Two days ago, I had to apply the icy hot twice and take one dose of ibuprofen before bed. Yesterday, I didn't need anything. Today, I used the icy hot once so far, will probably need to again before I'm done on camera. Tomorrow, I expect not to need anything, and barely feel any pain or tension. Sunday I'll probably need the icy hot to get through camming, but wouldn't need it otherwise.

My room is a mess. My apologies for its state while I cam today.

Captain Kirk

On Christmas, some things were said regarding Captain Kirk and his chivalry or lack of it.

Let me make one thing clear. When I said he was too chivalrous, I was not saying he would not seduce a woman, or have sex with her. I was saying he would not harm a woman. I was saying he would not rape her or participate in a gang-bang. Those are the things that he would not do.

My ideals of what chivalry is, he fits perfectly. It is such:

-not harming unless in self-defense or defense of innocents
-acting with manners when appropriate
-acting with respect towards women
-appreciative of a woman's charms
-not lying
-not stealing
-acting fairly unless unfairness is initiated by an opponent

All of these things, Captain Kirk has done and continues to do as I watch (I am currently watching Journey to Babel, an episode in season 2. I have seen all previous episodes, as well as movies 1-4. I intend to continue watching the episodes.)

TMI

Apparently I'm having a very philosophical day. This thought started when I was taking a dump, and wondered if other people have the same thing going on that I do- that it's easier to bear down when my leg muscles are not being squeezed between a ceramic toilet seat and the bones of my leg. I realized that to ask this question would be considered rude, and possibly disgusting, and that all people would consider it TMI (too much information).

Then I realized that pretty much every bodily function is considered "TMI". That we label "TMI" when it's something that we either A) Don't wish to picture, B) Think is too personal to discuss, or C) wish it didn't exist. And that a person's reason for thinking bodily functions are TMI could be any one of those three. Some people find that what goes on in the bathroom is a deeply personal affair, and don't wish anyone else to know about it, and don't wish to know about anyone else's. Some people are affronted by normal human activities, and wish the things didn't exist at all. And others just have such a mind that anything they hear is automatically pictured in detail, and they don't want to picture such a thing, whether because they find it personal, disgusting, or abhorrent.

Personally, when I find it to be TMI, it's not because I'm offended or upset by it. It's because I know that others might be. Because part of me knows such talk is considered "inappropriate", and "inappropriate" is part of what caused my childhood situation. Hence, I attempt to avoid that which is considered "inappropriate". Especially because online, it leads some to believe that there is more going on than really is.

I am very open. Unless you know my name, or city, there is nothing you know that I don't mind other people knowing. Some of it, that which seems too personal, is just stuff that is difficult for me to talk about. Hence why I run into the whole "That was TMI, Luna" "Oh, I'm sorry" thing a little too often.

Sunday

On Sunday, I'm supposed to work from 9pm till 2am. But Sunday is Christmas. I wish I could tell you "Yes I'm working" or "No, I won't be there", but I don't know. Why don't I know?

I spend the holidays with the roomie's family, since mine is too far away. His family doesn't do plans. Oh, they make them, but the times are always wrong. One time, we got there an hour before they said to show up, and they were done eating. Usually, we get there an hour before they tell us, and wait four hours to eat. So even if they had told me a time for tomorrow (which they haven't, as far as I know), I *still* wouldn't know if we'd be home by 8:30 (which is when I'd need to be home to get on camera for 9).

So, I suggest you watch my twitter. I will post on twitter when I get home. If it's before 8pm, you know I'll be on time. If it's after 8pm, then keep watching, and expect me to be a bit late. Of course, if you just go to my homepage at 8pm, you'll see if I've posted that I'm home yet, and won't have to spend all day waiting for it. ^_^

*kisses*

In other news, the countdown to the Star Trek dress is officially started now. If you send me offline tips, they will be counted towards the countdown. You will also get access to the Exploration Photo Set that I have yet to make (which will be made sometime in the next week), with pics of me having some fun in the star trek dress. So tip away!

~Luna