Moving

There so much stuff! No wonder I'd rather just settle down. Packing and sorting all this stuff is so exhausting, yet what else can I do? I'm required to keep records of my expenses for seven fucking years in case the IRS decides to audit me. There's all sorts of pictures from my childhood. There's a million clothes, and a bunch of toys and lingerie. And heirlooms. These are not things that should be in an apartment, where they burden me every time I move! These are things for someone who has settled down, someone who lives in a house. Do I want the house because I hold so much stuff, and am sick of moving it? Or do I hold so much stuff because I want a house, and am trying to force myself to get one?

Part of me longs for the freedom of the road. For the ability to pick everything up and move on a moment's notice, and not have to worry about where money comes from or what dangers I might face on the way. Part of me longs for the security of a house, to connect to the roots that extend far past me in both families, adoptive and biological. A place I can call my own, and never worry about anyone taking it away from me. A place I can hold all my stuff.

Nicest, I think, would be both. To have the money to have a home base where I spend most of my time, but twice a year travel to far off places, and experience different cultures. But that seems as futile to me as longing for a culture in which a person is accepted as they are, no matter what they are, without trying to change them with medicines and other such shit. Trying to "fix" their minds or emotions, instead of letting them live every glorious and painful moment. As long as they don't hurt anyone but themselves, who cares? Why care?

I care about the truth. I care that people take care of other people's things. But only because other people's things cost money, and I now know just how hard it is to earn money for things other than necessities. And it makes me sick, just how much money makes this world go around. It makes me sick, how much control money has over our government.

America is a government that is supposed to be run BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE. And yet, our government decided to make corporations people. So now, it's run by the businesses, for the businesses. And that makes me sick.