Friday, December 27, 2013

Recipe- Ginger Peach Cookies


A webcomic I love reading, Girls With Slingshots, recently posted a recipe. I asked for, and received, permission to share it here. I have not gotten to try them, but they look really good, so I will definitely be trying them sometime soonish.

Here you go:


Enjoy!


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Love, Religion, God

For Thanksgiving (Americans celebrate this on the last Thursday of November) this year, I went to see my biological family. Dad reminded me of something that I had forgotten. He reminded me that every single one of us has access to a wellspring of love. Some people call the source of this love God (as my father does). Whatever you want to call it, humans are capable of touching an incredible love that is so strong, it drowns out all else. Every human can touch it. Once touched, it can be hoarded, in which case it gets harder and harder to touch it. Or it can be shared with other living beings, in which case it gets easier and easier to touch it. But every one of us can touch it, can feel it.

I believe that the purpose of our lives is to spread as much of this love in the world as possible. I believe that Buddhism and Christianity were attempts by real, living people to show other people how to spread this love. Buddhism is currently more successful, as a lot of people twist the message of "Jesus Christ" (I don't believe that's his real name, but it's how we remember him) into a message of hate. But it's possible that Buddhism had been twisted in such ways back when it was new.

I believe that when we die, we will be shown everything we did in our lives. And what we recognize and feel about it is what determines what happens.

1. The person accepts the bad things they did, and forgives themselves for it, while reveling in the good that they did.
2. The person does not accept the bad things they did, and/or cannot forgive themselves for it.
3. The person revels in the bad things they did, and abhors the good.

In the second case, the person is forced to watch it again and again, until they come to terms with it. There is escape from this: accept that some of the things you did really were bad, and forgive yourself for it. Then you bump up to the first.

In the first case, the person is giving a choice of where to go. I do not know, but I hope, that the person can leave messages for loved ones who follow, explaining their own choice, and get such messages from loved ones who preceded.

In the third case, I believe the person is destroyed, the soul rejected.

What evidence do I have for any of what I say? The only bit I have is this: every person reading this can access the wellspring of love. Open your "heart", and feel the love. Realize that some of that is for you- you are loved. Just for being alive, you are loved. Unconditionally. No matter what you have done, what you think you have done, you are loved.

I do not believe hell exists. Those who are beyond redemption are destroyed. Those who could be redeemed but refuse it, are trapped in something that seems like hell. But it's not hell as we think of it, because they can break free, if they only learn to love themselves despite what they've done. If they accept and forgive.

So.

1. You are loved.
2. You have access to a wellspring of love.
3. Your task is to spread the love from this wellspring through the world, in any way, shape, or form.
4. When you are shown the evils that you did, repent them, accept that they were evil, that you really did do them, and forgive yourself for them.

As for me, I want to go to a universe where magic and unicorns exist. Where I can be immortal and learn everything there is to know. Where I don't have to experience pain, but if I want to, I can. Where hurts and sickness can be experienced or healed outright. Where things can be as challenging or easy as I want them to be at that moment.

------

The bible. It's not the literal word of God. It was inspired by something. Call it God if you want. But whatever inspired the bible does not speak any human language. So the original writings were already translations. And they were translating ideas that humans didn't have words for, into human words. It's like trying to translate concepts of weather from Eskimo into Hawaiian before the Europeans came along (note1). Stuff is going to get weird.

Then, after you've taken an inhuman language and translated it into human, you've got people coming along translating the translation into other languages.

So, the old testament is a recording of the oral traditions of the Hebrew nation. Some of those stories, they believed to be true at the time. Some of them, they related as truth, but were fable, parables, not meant to be taken literally. Each one was meant to teach a lesson, or tell one person's story as it was perceived by someone close to the original person, then passed down from person to person by word of mouth. Ever play telephone? How about a more accurate version, where you can actually talk in a low voice to the next person. Stories get exaggerated in the telling. Girls do it. Boys do it. Everyone does it. We exaggerate. Or understate. 10 people becomes 100, and 100 people becomes 10, so damn easy.

There is one verse in the bible which can definitely be taken literally. Well, one chapter, really. Lots of people love this one, and for good reason. It speaks a greater truth.

1 Corinthians 13

        1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

        4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

        8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

       
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

And yet, even this is messed up. Many people use only the middle paragraph, but they put the first sentence of the second paragraph as being the end of the thought. It's not the end of the thought. It's the beginning of a new point: that love is the only thing that never fails. That wellspring of love which each of us can touch will never fail. It will always be there. All you have to do is touch it, and spread it. Show it to other people through your actions. Treat people will love and respect, with decency that used to be common. You don't have to swear by Jesus to access this love. You don't have to go to church to access this love. You don't have to sing praises, though you might want to when you really feel it. All you have to do is open your "heart", and let it in, then open your self, and let it out.



Note 1: Eskimo into Hawaiian because Eskimos know everything about weather that Hawaiians know, plus they know about frozen things, while Hawaiians don't. Sure, Hawaiians have storms that Eskimos don't have, but hurricane can translate into "sea-storm which destroys villages". How do you translate "snow" into a language that doesn't even have a concept of "frozen"? "water which is hard as a rock" might do for ice, but "dust which makes you cold as death" will get translated as "poisonous dust", not snow.

-----

So yeah, that's my message to everyone. Let in the love. Let the love shine through you. You will be happier, better able to deal with what you have, and what you don't have.

I love you.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving Video Special


The following offers are valid from 11/26/2013 - 11/30/2013

Ends 4am US Eastern on 12/1/2013

Half Price Videos


Every video listed here is half off! Simply tip half the listed price with a tipnote of the video name.

Thanksgiving Special


For 300 tokens, get 4 high quality videos not listed above! Send the tip with the note "Thanksgiving Special".

Offline Tip Link



I really hate to be beggy, but I''m in a fix. Please guys, I need your help. I just need 14 people to buy the special, or a bunch of people to buy videos, and I'll be fine.

Why I don't just get on camera and make it? Because it's not my normal hours, and I don't make any money usually away from my normal hours. I need this money before the payperiod ends, and my next MFC day is Sunday, the first.

Thank you to everyone who participates, and I hope you have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving!


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Moving Updates

I has internetz!

There are boxes everywhere, and furniture in the wrong room, and shit's all mixed up. Yay moving? But but BUT... my camroom is mostly setup. I still need to do the curtains, especially as my camera will be facing the window O.O. And there's a lot of organizing and changing what's in drawers and what's in bins to do. The bed is a new bed (mattress and box spring, no frame yet), so I can safely stand on it. There's a bunch of stuff in the room that doesn't need to be in there, so it's really crowded and I won't be able to dance, but I can stand and pose on the floor.

I will try to have it all ready by tonight, but I might not be able to work until tomorrow. Right now, I'm working on getting the kitchen unpacked and set up so I can eat something other than microwaved leftovers and microwave food. If I have to, I can wait until the sun is down to get on camera without the curtains.

There will be no virtual tours of the room until it's ready. Since that includes hiding some wiring and a couple pipes, it might be a few months. Yes, I know, that doesn't sound nice. It doesn't look nice, but as long as I don't put anything over there that I need on camera and am careful when using stuff by it the rest of the time (mostly right now there's stuff around it that's never used), I'll be fine.

The bathroom... well, they never got around to installing the new vanity. So it's sitting in the only real floor space of the bathroom, in front of the toilet and the old vanity (which does still work). So no shower shows until we can get that taken care of. If we're here that long. And the washer and dryer, we don't have yet.

So yeah, pretty much every reason this place was going to be a better place than the apartment we moved out of is currently moot, but we'll get there. We'll get there. At the very least, we have a yard to take care of, so we can get used to that aspect and used to having a shed outside to keep stuff that just needs to be kept out of wind and rain.

It's an adventure!


Monday, October 28, 2013

Moving in Progress


Well, I'm in the progress of moving, so what I have available in my camroom is somewhat limited, but not as much as you might think.

Here's what I have:

-my dice (though some items needed for certain things on the d20 are not here, so you'll have to deal with substitutions if you want that one.)

-my 3 leather cuffs
-3 6" ropes (the shortest ones)
-nipple clips
-spanking implements
-panty hose
-thigh-high nylons
-glass dildo, jelly dildo, mona lelo vibe
-random panty drawer (this means those types that I only have a couple of, not the ones that I have a lot of)
-thongs
-ball gag
-leash and collar
-ben wa balls
-hair ties
-hair brush
-lotion

and of course, anything attached to me remains here.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

Bad Assumptions


There are two wrong assumptions that I can't seem to get away from. One is just an annoyance. The other is kinda serious.

1. Gagging (the annoyance)

I like to suck. I'm honest about how much I like to suck. I can't deep throat, because there's only 4 or 5 inches before whatever I'm trying to shove in there hits my voice box. I'm a small person. I occasionally get someone who wants a gagging show. I don't do gagging shows.

Why not? Because gagging is what happens before you throw up. I HATE anything to do with throwing up. I hate the act. I hate the precursor to the act. I hate dry-heaving. I hate gagging.

Today, someone asked me to gag, then took me private without me having a chance to say that I don't gag. He left before the rest of everything he wanted because... I don't gag. Not on purpose. I do everything I can to avoid gagging. I don't find it sexy. it's a huge turn-off for me.

2. Spanking (the problem)

I enjoy being spanked. A lot of people out there have this belief that it should be done as part of a "bad girl" funishment roleplay thing. NO. I am submissive. I like doing what I'm told. I like doing the right thing. I don't like the idea that I did something wrong. If you mix up spanking with any implication that I did something less-than-perfect, I can't enjoy the spanking, and I start to fear the spanking, and pretty soon I start to cringe away from the person who does it as though I'm expecting to be punished for no reason. It fucks with me too much.

I want you to tell me how good I've been, then spank me and fuck me silly. I want you to be very careful that physical pain doesn't turn into psychological pain as well. I want to hear the words "good girl" as I feel the bite of whatever you're using on my ass. I want you to coddle my mind while you abuse my body.

That's really all I had to say. But it had to be said. Because the one was last night, and the other was just now.


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Clones and Eternal Youth


I have a limited knowledge of how genes work. So, I'm going off of my basic understanding for this.

The most important question in the subject of clones and eternal youth used to be "what makes us age?" We have the answer to that, and in the answer we found out why clones die early and other such information. What I'm going to say relies heavily on this, so I need to detail what we found.

At the tail end of the molecules which make up our genes is a random bunch that don't mean anything. As our cells replicate using those strands of DNA, the tail end that means nothing slowly disappears. When that end is gone, the molecules which make up the important bits of our DNA start to disappear. When the brake-down becomes too much for the body to handle, the person dies.

The issue with cloning is that when we make a clone from an adult, the tail end of DNA which determines how long the clone will live is the same length as the adult its cells were taken from. To fix this, we need to either make our clones while the original is still just a few cells. Or, we can take one of those cells from when the original is really young, and store what the sequence is. Then, we can use gene therapy to add the missing bits before making the clones.

Here's the point. If we can figure out how to extend the length of the tail end of the genes which belong to someone who is already alive, we can have the fabled eternal youth. We can also make clones which do not die too soon. I think the first thing is to see if the tail end has to be something specific, or if it can be anything. If it can be anything, we can just make a sequence to throw on there. If we can figure out how to make it, we won't even need to try to harvest cells from a fetus.

My guess is that there are a number of different sequences which will work for each species, but that only closely related species will be able to use the same sets of sequences. But that's not for me to figure out.

Why did I feel it necessary to point this out? Because I believe I remember people saying that they need to figure out how to stop the loss of the tail, instead of figuring out how to add more to the tail as it disappears. And I realized that the same technology which allows them to make rats glow using genes from a jellyfish would allow them to insert more "tail" on the genes.


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Clothes can change...


Tonight, on AmberCutie Forums, I had to hide the post of someone. Because he hit my pet peeve with how he browses models. He goes looking for a model who is currently wearing the specific clothes that he likes to see, passing by plenty of rooms whose models would probably be happy to change into those stockings he loves so much just because she's not wearing them NOW. Now, I understand that he might not want take the time to ask every model if she happens to have red stockings, or fishnet stockings, or whatever. But, seriously, I've had guys come in and actually ask if I'm wearing socks, and then leave because I'm not, nevermind the fact that I'll gladly wear them for the member in private or exclusive, and it's only $5 for me to change into them in public chat for an undefined period of time, which will be at least 5 mins, usually 10, possibly more.

Maybe I'm only bothered by it because I don't really wear them unless it's wanted by the other person. To tell the truth, the only reason I don't get on camera naked is because on MFC I'd make nothing, and on Streamate I'd get banned. Maybe the biggest reason I'm bothered by it is because these gentlemen seem to have no idea how much said stockings cost, and how easy it is for them to break. Seriously, I get 2 uses out of anything cheap, and 5 uses out of anything expensive, before they start to run. Then one or two uses before I can't use it anymore. Shit, there are some expensive ones that I really only get 2 uses out of, because they're so thin that they tear both ways.


Monday, September 23, 2013

New Stuff!


I got some new stuff from amazon.com. Here goes:

Daylee Naturals 100% Cotton Terry Bath Mat (white)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AZNYQ8E/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I'm allergic to dust mites, so I prefer a bathmat that I can just throw in the washer and dryer. While the fuzzy ones with the grip on the bottom can go in the washer, you have to dry them on low or let them air dry. At the moment, anything that would have to be done on low, I tend to just air dry. So, the terry-cloth ones are the best.




32GB 32G Memory Stick PRO Duo for PSP, Camera, Phone, Photo Frame, MicroSD + EnjoyGadgets Adapter

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007ZH9OFI/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's a 32GB MicroSD card with an SD adapter and a Memory Stick Pro Duo adapter. Got this for a friend's PSP. If it works well, I plan to get another one for my own PSP. The awesome thing about it is, it's a lot easier and cheaper to find "large" micro SD cards (by large I mean the amount of storage space on it) than "large" Memory Stick Pro Duo cards. So if this works as well as I think it will, I'll be able to upgrade how much memory is in my PSP much cheaper. But, the reviews said it can be tricky, so we'll see. My friend is good at making electronics work, which is why the first one goes to him.

iCollection Women's Sexy Sheer Pink Halter Teddy

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0085IRWUA/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's a pink teddy, that's why I got it. When it arrived I discovered a couple surprises. The first is that it's got underwire for the bra part. Not sure how I feel about it, but it was comfortable enough. When I put it on, I discovered that it's crotchless. :) It does make the back of the ass look a bit weird though.



SpicySpot Lace and Mesh High Neck Teddy with Thong Back

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0040MK5XQ/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

There's a white one, a red one, and a pink one. I got the red one. I got it because it's a red teddy, and I don't have one of those yet.



Solemates Purse Pal Foldable Bowed Ballet Flats w/ Expandable Tote Bag for Carrying Heels

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007TDNST6/ref=oh_details_o04_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I got the pink pair. The fact that the bottom is made to be foldable combined with the elastic around the hole of the shoe means that they are permanently folded unless I'm wearing them. The fact that the elastic is about half the size it needs to be for the design of the shoe means that it cuts into my foot. So, I won't ever be wearing them on a regular basis. But, they're good enough for an hour or two, so I'm willing to wear them on camera for tips. Which is exactly why I got them.



To the gentleman who gave me the gift card which resulted in these purchases:

Thank you so much! I will not reveal your name unless you want me to, but you do know how to contact me. If you wish pictures of me using the items in question, I will gladly send them. Just need an email address from you ^_^. Of course, there will be publicly posted ones eventually, but they will not be the same quality.


Fun with pm


I leave my pm's open on MFC. Sometimes, it produces a bit of fun. Last night the following conversation happened. I have changed the gentleman's name, because I'm not in to public humiliation on any side of it. I have changed the color of some of the text to aid in following the conversation, as there is a point where we're talking about two things at once.

09:07:27 PM member1: hey there, want to watch me jerk off and cum?
09:07:43 PM LadyLuna: I would love to! Take me private, and I gladly will. 
09:08:08 PM member1: how about we go fool around on Skype?
09:08:48 PM LadyLuna: Why? Skype is risky for you, risky for me, and doesn't like me when it comes to calls
09:09:40 PM LadyLuna: MFC private, you don't risk dropping a load of tokens and not getting anything, because you can stop it before it gets too far.
09:09:53 PM LadyLuna: And I don't risk you finding out my personal information.
09:10:10 PM LadyLuna: PLUS you get a recording of the private (usually, on occasion it doesn't work)
09:10:47 PM member1: ive gotten scammed 3 times on mfc so its no better
09:10:53 PM LadyLuna: If you're afraid of using all your tokens without realizing it, MFC has this thing called the bank. Only keep as many as you want to have available for the
09:10:54 PM LadyLuna: private
09:11:02 PM LadyLuna: How have you gotten scammed?
09:11:27 PM LadyLuna: I honestly don't know how you could get scammed out of more than 60 tokens...
09:11:42 PM member1: Skype would be just for fun......2 people who enjoy watching people masterbate
09:12:08 PM member1: they were for private shows
09:12:10 PM LadyLuna: While I do find this fun, it is still my source of income.
09:12:31 PM LadyLuna: Yes, you start the private show, and within one minute you can figure out if the model is pulling your leg
09:12:40 PM member1: oh i thought you enjoyed sex ??
09:12:43 PM LadyLuna: 60 tokens is one minute
09:12:46 PM LadyLuna: I do enjoy sex
09:12:54 PM LadyLuna: is there a rule that says you can't get paid for things you enjoy?
09:13:15 PM LadyLuna: Is there some rule out there that you're supposed to hate your job?
09:13:35 PM LadyLuna: I've never heard of this rule. In fact, we were advised to think of something we'd do for free, and find a way to make money off of it.
09:13:38 PM member1: but if u like what you see and i like what i see.....why do I have to pay?
09:13:59 PM LadyLuna: If a painter really enjoys painting, why do you have to pay him to do one for you?
09:14:14 PM LadyLuna: If a mechanic really loves working on cars, why do you have to pay him for fixing yours?
09:14:36 PM member1: i like the barter system then
09:14:52 PM LadyLuna: So do I, unfortunately, I can't pay rent in chickens.
09:15:03 PM member1: lol
09:15:32 PM member1: great chat!!! i guess you dont do this for the cock!!!! bye
09:15:57 PM LadyLuna: But I do do it for the cock. I also do it for the money.
09:16:04 PM LadyLuna: The two are not mutually exclusive.
09:17:50 PM member1: so enlighten me!!! how much for a skype show? and what will you do in it?
09:18:11 PM LadyLuna: I already gave you my reasons for not doing a skype show. It's less risky to keep it to the privates on MFC.
09:18:25 PM LadyLuna: What I will do in the private, is anything within reason that you want to see.
09:19:52 PM member1: WOW!!! :hotdogface
09:22:14 PM LadyLuna: ?
09:22:39 PM LadyLuna: I do not understand the gif... sorry. I'm a math major, so my mind works literally
09:22:59 PM LadyLuna: if you're wanting me to get some hot dogs and pour them over my face, I do have some in the fridge I could use for the private.
09:23:09 PM member1: open my camera and watch me cum on my stomach
09:24:42 PM LadyLuna: The reason I don't watch cameras in public chat is that I can't keep up with monitoring my music, reading a bunch of pms, public chat, AND watching your camera.
09:24:51 PM LadyLuna: I can do three of them.
09:25:12 PM member1: so do u wanna see?
09:26:16 PM member1: do you like having your ass hole licked?? :bootylick
09:26:31 PM LadyLuna: I do want to see. If you take me private, I will gladly watch.
09:26:37 PM LadyLuna: I have never had my asshole licked.
09:26:45 PM LadyLuna: If you don't mind, I also like to play while I watch.
09:27:33 PM member1: private is to many tokens
09:28:06 PM member1: would you like me to stick my tongue in your ass?
09:28:30 PM LadyLuna: How about you tip me 80 tokens, and I'll watch your camera? (please note: I only offered this because I was pretty sure he wouldn't tip it)
09:28:45 PM member1: that seems like alot
09:29:08 PM LadyLuna: Well, I was going to say 150, but I saw that would be most of your tokens. (This is true, he had 169 tokens. Half of 170 is 85, for the next bit.)
09:29:13 PM LadyLuna: and I don't want to make you broke.
09:29:21 PM LadyLuna: 80 is a little less than half.
09:29:33 PM member1: how about licking your wet pussy? :lickclit2
09:29:34 PM LadyLuna: Keep in mind, I'll be having to hold myself back, because I can't play in public chat.
09:29:54 PM LadyLuna: I refuse to answer those types of questions unless you've tipped for me to watch your camera.
09:30:12 PM member1: awwwwww your no fun
09:31:10 PM member1: have you ever had a guy cum in your ass? :wirthanal7
09:34:40 PM member1: i just found your pictures!!! Wow my cock is hard now!!! FYI my cock is about the same size as your purple dildo
09:34:58 PM member1: i might have to cum looking at your pics
09:36:53 PM member1: u can have a free peak if you want, another girl wants to watch me cum
09:40:03 PM member1: see?
09:52:45 PM member1: suck my cock please?
09:53:33 PM LadyLuna: I am not watching. I told you my requirements to watch, and to sex-chat with you, and you have not fulfilled them. As much as I want to, and as much as I hate
09:53:35 PM LadyLuna: saying no
09:53:52 PM LadyLuna: I cannot make allowances for one person, or I'd have to for everyone, and it's too much.
09:55:06 PM LadyLuna: So, I don't mind you staying, and watching, but if you keep pestering me for freebies, I'll have no choice but to ban you.
09:55:47 PM member1: but i love you!!!
09:55:55 PM LadyLuna: You know nothing about me. (considering he was asking for skype, and both my profile and my website are quite clear that I don't offer skype, I know he read neither. So he didn't even know that much about me.)
09:56:23 PM member1: you break my heart!!! 
09:57:01 PM member1: i find you very attractive
09:57:14 PM member1: i LOVE innocent looking women
09:58:07 PM member1: ill leave u now.....sorry, bye sexy :giveflowers

And there the conversation ends. That's right, I didn't even say good bye to him. I found this conversation mildly amusing, I thought you might as well.


Saturday, September 14, 2013

Mercedes Lackey


I love the Valdemar books by Mercedes Lackey. The characters are wonderful, and the stories are touching. But they've always left me slightly uneasy as a writer. I have finally figured out why.

I'm going to have to go over a few things before explaining it exactly. Specifically, the narrative voice. There's a few types of third-person narrations a writer can use. The first is the type which knows everything one character is thinking and feeling. The second is the type which knows what all characters are thinking and feeling. And the third is the type which doesn't know what any of the characters are thinking or feeling. Many authors will use the first type, but switch character perspectives between the different scenes.

Here's my problem with the Valdemar Series. She uses the first type, switching characters between scenes. All right, that's fine. But, she has this tendency to narrate as though it's the character themselves thinking about it, while still referring to the character in the third person. It makes it really difficult to separate the characters from the narration. To make matters worse, sometimes in the same scene it switches which character the narration is focusing on. The one thing about it which might be considered good by some people is that it has the effect of drawing the reader further in to the story. The problem is that it leaves the reader slightly confused.

Now, I specify that it's my problem with the Valdemar series, because I haven't read the other ones well enough. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe her other books don't do that as much. I can't know that. I just know that it annoys the hell out of me.

My other problem with the Valdemar series is the over-use of shock-value tactics. Just like using the word "fuck" all the time limits the impact of the word, if every few paragraphs is a single-sentence paragraph, and every few sentences has interrupts sprinkled throughout, they aren't as powerful. But maybe that's the point... Also, it feels like every other sentence she writes starts with a contraction (and, but...). You're not supposed to do that, but it's okay to do it once in awhile, again, for shock to emphasize it. Plus, people tend to think that way, so doing it in the string of thought areas is fine. But as I said, she writes the narration part as though it's the same as the thought-part. One thing I didn't say is that the characters have a tendency to interrupt the narration. Again, once in a while, this can be used, but she uses it at least three times a scene.

I will always love the Valdemar series. This is the series that taught me what empathy is, and how to look at myself and tell if an emotion is coming from within me, or from someone else, and how to block it out if it's coming from someone else. This is the series that opened my mind to the idea that same-sex pairings are okay, and primed me to be able to accept the idea of multiple partners being okay (which Stranger in a Strange land then completed the opening.) Even with that, the writing is... well, it's not good. I won't say it's terrible, it certainly elicits an emotion from the reader, and certain parts give very vivid images. I don't get as good a "movie" from it as from others, simply because the little cues aren't always there. But it's not terrible.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Time for the Male Pill (at least)


Women have the right to decide whether or not they want to be a mother completely separate from their decision to have sex.
Men do not even have the option of opting out of fatherhood.

Why is this a problem? I mean, women are the only ones who go through pregnancy, right? But the men are the ones who have to foot the bill. There are two things men are required by law to pay for whether they want to support the things they are paying for or not: taxes and babies. "So what, if a man and a woman agree not to have a child, he's covered, right?" Maybe.

Consider:

-There is a long history of women lying about their state of birth control, (even going so far as to flush the pills so when the man double-checks, there's no evidence she didn't take it), and women poking holes in the condoms men use, to get pregnant against the desire of their sexual partners. I mean, we're talking about me being able to remember hearing about this in the news when I was 11 (that's 17 years ago, shit, that poor shmuck only has one more year of child support to pay!)


-Relatively new to my knowledge is a spree of women taking condoms out of the trash to impregnate themselves.

-A woman went to a sperm bank, was successfully impregnated with sperm from an anonymous donor. Woman tracks that donor down and the family court judge decides that this man is now required to pay child support.




-A woman raped a 15 year old kid, and successfully sued that kid for child support when he turned 17.


Now, I'm not saying that if a man agrees to help with the kid, which influences the woman's decision to get pregnant, he should then be able to abandon her to fend for herself. But there are two things that need to happen here:

1. a male pill needs to be introduced. If a man has a way to prevent his sperm from being fertile, then he will be able to make sure a woman can't go behind his back to get herself pregnant.

2. a contract of sorts needs to be created, legally binding on both parties. When a woman finds out she is pregnant and first goes to the doctor, the man needs to be called in, and in the presence of a notary sign saying that he was informed on such and such day that the woman is pregnant. He then has at least a week, at most a month, (depending on how far along the pregnancy is; don't want to go past the abortion window) to opt-out of fatherhood through legal channels. If he does decide to opt-out, he can do so on his own, and the court will send a letter (and try to reach through phone and email) informing her that if she carries this child to term, the court will not assign child support to the father. It's called legal paternal surrender, and I think the method I just outlined will prevent it from being abused. One more thing about it, if the man had less than a month to decide if he wants to be a father, and he decided against, but changes his mind before the baby is born, then he should be able to, but once he changes his mind he's fair game for child support if he leaves again. It's a big decision, and a man might panic if he feels pressured by lack of time.

In cases of rape with a male victim and female perp, the male victim needs to be automatically excluded from the necessity of paying for the child which resulted from an act he never agreed to.

A male pill combined with legal paternal surrender will work to keep a man from being forced into a role he never agreed to take.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Random Thoughts Collection (#?)


I shall call this Collection #1, though I know it's far from the first such collection. But since the collections started in my high school years, and this is the first in the official series, I shall call it #1

Speed Limits

I was in a bit of a bunch-up, with cars all going 40. A look at a sign showed me that 40 was actually the speed limit. A curve revealed a cop just behind the first couple cars of the bunch; mystery solved. But when the cop turned to continue on his patrol, and the cars naturally started speeding up, they didn't stop at 45. No, the car in front of me stopped at 50, and the cars in front of (him?) were even faster than that. And it got me thinking

The reason we even have speed limits are a sign of just how bad society is. If people were considerate and used judgement about what was safe for everybody, and not just themselves (or even just their own convenience), then we wouldn't need speed limits. As it is, without them, people would go 40+ in residential areas, 50-60 in business areas, and 80+ on the highway. And schools would not constitute a slow-down. Shit, the only thing that kept those people on the road the other day from doing 60+ on a road with the occasional business and stop-lights every couple miles was the fact that there was a cop. This is a sad state of affairs.

Streamate's 30-second Peep

The 30-second peep is the bane of every Streamate model. Especially the assholes who abuse it, popping in and out of private staying only 20 seconds each time. I get that members should be able to have a bit of a preview, but damnit, why is it so easy to abuse?

There are many proposed methods of making it harder to abuse.

1. Make it so it doesn't start-over every time the person leaves and comes back.
2. Put a limit to how many of them a customer can use in a session.
3. Put a limit to how quickly customers can use them.

Now, I have managed to get a couple of them banned from the site when I emailed Streamate and complained that they were too fast for me to catch to ban from my room, that they were disrupting my chat, and that they had never in their entire time spent any amount of money on me, not even in tips. But the very fact that I had to do that was off-putting, and the fact that people abuse the 30-second preview feature tends to ruin my session for a little while. It makes me very irritable with people.

So my idea has a few parts to it:

1. Member's time in private is tracked. If they have less available funds than they could use for that model, they get a warning pop-up when they hit the private button. If they have less available funds than 31 seconds, they cannot initiate or join the private at all.
2. As long as there is no one in the room past the 30-seconds, there is a warning mark on the model's screen, so she knows when the preview is over and the real stuff can start.
3. The timer for the 30-second preview is not reset for the model unless it is a new private initiated by someone other than the person who has already had a 30-second preview. The person gets 1 30-second preview initiated by himself, and then he cannot initiate another private without paying money.
4. there is a timer for the member to see the thirty-seconds, counting down (but the timer is very small, just above or below the model, and disappears completely once the 30 seconds are up)
5. There is no 30-second preview in exclusive chat. (because exclusive kicks everyone else out of the room.)

Models will not be penalized for showing stuff in the preview, after all, the entire point of the preview is to allow the member to see more than he can in public, and change his mind about private if the model lied about her pussy hair or waist or something like that.

----

This has been another installment of Random Thoughts from Luna's Mind. I hope they made some sort of sense.


Sunday, August 18, 2013

Economic Stability Plan


I am not an economist. What I'm about to say is the opinion of someone who is only semi-informed.

So I've been thinking a lot about the economy, and how we could give it a nice kick-start and possibly cut away a lot of the deficit of the government spending. It's based on a few things I've gleaned from a few different areas.

-the war on drugs costs a shitton of money in both increased patrols and the prison system, when legalizing drugs could earn the government money
-people don't understand how things work at all
-the more regulations the government places, the harder it is for the average person to start their own business
-minimum wage makes it harder for people to find jobs, but until people understand how to fight for the wages they deserve, they need it in place.
-men getting a bad deal is hurting everyone

The very first step is to end the war on drugs.

Put in place the age-limits we have for cigs and alcohol- 18 for weed, 21 for anything else. Companies which sell bad drugs will get a bad rep, which will lead to fewer deaths by OD and/or bad mixes. 80% decrease in the prison population means that less money needs to go to prisons. Money from taxes on the drugs will flow in. Druggies who steal will go to jail for theft, ones which kill will go to jail for murder, but that will still cut the prison population by at least half. Companies are still allowed to decline to hire anyone on drugs, but there's no fines to them for deciding to forgo drug tests. Druggies who are driving while high get the same sorts of penalties as drunk drivers, as they cause about equivalent chaos.

Summary of Bonuses to Step 1:
-prison population is decreased, which cuts spending
-more products to be taxed increases revenue
-new jobs created by new industries helps with unemployment
-new workers from those formerly criminalized means more revenue form income taxes
-fewer people dying off of bad drugs and overdosing means less money spent on the health care and more revenue from income taxes

The second step is to rework the housing codes.

The requirements that housing has increases the cost of housing and makes it harder for people to have their own place. While it's incredibly important that housing companies be completely honest about what issues a person living there might face, a person on the street probably isn't going to care much if there's a full kitchen and full bathroom in their apartment. So: inspections should not be legally required. Instead, houses/apartments need to be honest about whether or not there was an inspection, and if there has been one, how long ago it was. They need to be honest about issues which they know about with the building, things which the person doesn't need to worry about (with appropriate proof that it's not an issue), and things that COULD be wrong. They need to offer an inspection, but they could require the tenant to pay up to half of the inspection fee. And this needs to be available the whole time.

Yes, an apartment which is little more than a wooden box is not a great place to live, but it's definitely better than nothing, definitely better than a couple newspapers, and definitely better than a cardboard box.

The next bunch, I'm not sure which order would be best to do. But they do need to be done before the last two.

Rework the affirmative action guidelines.

New guidelines say that if the choice is between two people of opposite sex who have exact same qualifications, then choose the one which is not as heavily represented. If the choice is between two people of different races that have the exact same qualifications, then choose the one which is not as heavily represented. Get rid of quotas in regards to percentages, all those do is prevent the people who want to do things from doing them, and force comapnies/coaches/classes to take those who aren't as well suited to the job/sport/class.

Rework the legal code.

Go back to "innocent until proven guilty" for everything, including cases of rape and abuse. There will be three separate judgements: -guilty, not guilty, and innocent. The case of innocent means that the accused was proven to be innocent of any misdeed, and the accuser will stand trial for misuse of the system, in which the jury tries to determine if the accuser really thought the accused was guilty, of if the accuser was just holding a grudge or trying to get attention. If it's the former, no punishment to anyone. If it's the latter, the accuser will be punished with a sentence no less than half as severe as what the accused would've faced, but not more than as much as the accuser would have faced. (half for a first offense, and slowly building until it's the full for each time). If accuser was found to be purposely misusing the system, the accuser will be required to attend an anger management sort of class about how to let go of a grudge and what constitutes proper use of the system, not to be counted as part of the punishment.

Educate the people.

Billboards and fliers pointing people to websites which spell out the following:
-everything which will be on the upcoming ballot. Each candidate has their stated views and past actions listed, every proposed law or levy has cost/benefit analysis done by every political party.
-contact information of all government officials
-drug facts
-video tutorials on balancing checkbooks, doing taxes, and budgeting- one set of cartoon animated ones, one set of person in front of blackboard style ones, one set of person just doing it at their desk. Powerpoint tutorials on the same thing (one set with mostly notes, one set with mostly pictures). Workbooks for practicing these skills.

Each citizen takes a class which details the hows and whys of petitions, boycotting, being on a jury, and what voting day is really about (which is not the presidential candidates)

Lenience for new companies.

The first five years, if it's discovered that they're breaking some sort of law, they are given a year to fix it before fines are instituted. If they haven't fixed it after a year and a half, they may be shut down. Exception: a company which is stealing, or deliberately causing pain to people, or killing people. They also do not get taxed until they are making a profit of more than $100,000, and it starts at a minimum tax rate and gets bigger as the company grows, but not more than 20%.

End Subsidies.

The issue with subsidies is that they cause the market to be flooded with more product than is actually needed. A lot of money that the government is spending will also be freed up.

Pull out of most conflicts, and scale down the military.

Do we really need to be spending more on our military than the next 9 countries combined, 8 of which are allies? Well yeah, but that's because we've decided to determine how other countries are being run. We're supposed to be about freedom, so why is it that the other countries aren't free to decide how to rule themselves? Instead of sending military in to be white knights who aren't welcomed, send in teachers to educate the populace, teachers who emphasize how good it is to live in a country where you're not ruled by a dictator. Then, maybe support the people when they decide to overthrow the dictator for themselves, but only by sending in tacticians and trainers for the local populace. Why? Because they aren't going to value their freedom if they didn't fight for it themselves. It's like how that money that you actually earned is worth more to you than the money your friend let you borrow.

Push For the Internet Learning, ditch No Child Left Behind.

One huge problem with the education system is the lack of individualized classes. Everyone has their own learning style, and everyone has their own pace of learning. So, videos of teachers doing the various styles, whichever that teacher is most comfortable doing. With an contact form beneath the video which will, when filled out, tell the recipient exactly which video the student is asking the question about. Forums for discussion on topics, (both online forums, and offline debates and study groups).

On-site, most of what's needed is supervisors and tutors. The supplemental course teachers can take turns supervising the students who are doing computer work. Teachers can work from their homes, answering the emails. Teachers will still be required for the first few grades, to teach reading, writing, basic arithmetic, computer skills, and how to use the teaching system. Also, teachers will still be needed to teach kids how to study. Physical education, the arts, and science labs will also need on-site teachers, as well as teachers for those students with severe disabilities.

It's important that the computers have very limited internet access. They should be able to access a school email, the school sites, and online libraries. Any government site should be accessible, and any approved educational sites. I also recommend that there be one room with access to social media, youtube, and some certain entertainment. I expect the children to be at school from 8am to 6pm (minus the two hours for high schoolers to work, see next step), but I don't expect them to spend that whole time learning. I expect a couple hours of learning, a half hour lunch, and a half hour of break time. (Make note in the break rooms that a youtube video can be paused, added to the "watch later" list, and will automatically start at the same time at which it was paused.)

In high school, each kid spends two hours a day getting experience at various entry level jobs.

Throughout the school year, each kid will spend two months working two hours a day at each of the following jobs (note, there is some flexibility in which year the kid should experience these things, scoffolding to make the most difficult jobs be the last ones. Stocking shelves should be the very first job in all ases):
-clerk at a gas station or convenience store (freshman/sophomore)
-cashier at a grocery store or walmart/target/k-mart style store (freshman/sophomore)
-stocking shelves (first experience)
-fast food (sophomore/junior)
-answering phones (sophomore/junior)
-telephone marketing (junior/senior)
-salesman (junior/senior)
-entry level position in career of choice during senior year

First will be two weeks to a month of training (depending on how much training the company feels they need), then the two months of actually working the job. The supervisor will then give the student a (video-taped) verbal review, and a written review. The supervisor is allowed to share contact info with the student, and the company may request to be informed when the student is finished with high school or college, though the student themselves will be the one who gets the list and does the informing upon graduation.

The point of this is to teach students that work is difficult, and to give them a chance to experience various minimum wage and slightly higher than minimum wage jobs. This could give them contacts with the industry, and really drive home what is needed. The two hours is taken out of the student's school day, and is counted as a class.

The Second to Last step is to simplify the tax codes.

Go ahead and keep it complicated for the middle-middle class and up. But lower-middle class, working poor, and actual poor, they can't afford the $100 to hire a CPA. So make it simple. Anyone making more than twice minimum wage pays at minimum 10% (AFTER deductions). Anyone making twice minimum wage or less pays nothing, because they need that money to pay off debts, pay their actual bills, and have some spending money left to keep the economy going. This is second to last, because the revenue from the other steps will

The Last Step is to Change Minimum Wage Laws.

Minimum wage laws don't apply for the first two years of employment. This will stop the cycle of "can't get a job because I don't have experience, can't get experience because I can't find a job." See, the way minimum wage works, people who don't have experience become not worth employing. Minimum wage goes up, the availability of jobs goes down. Do this last, because there will now be plenty of jobs, and housing that people who don't have minimum wage can actually afford.


As I said, I'm not an economist. But I really believe that if we were to do these things, letting things stabilize between each step before changing the next one, we could fix this country.

And yes, I'm well aware that there are more things which need to be done to make this country truly free, but I don't believe that we can do them until these other things are put in place. First, we need to fix the economy, cut back government spending, and fix the education system. That's what this plan is meant to do. Then we can quibble about gay marriage (or if marriage should even exist as a legal status anymore. I'm not sure it should, but I'm all for gay people being able to marry as long as straight people have that option. But that's a blog post for another day.).


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Fellow Americans- the importance of knowing about your LOCAL government


Hey everyone!

When I was in US Government class in 12th grade, I was taught that participation in government is not just about the presidential elections. There's the state, county, and local elections. There's the motions and propositions which are on the ballot. All of these things are incredibly important. You can help with campaigns, sure. You can also sign petitions and join protests. Sure, it's difficult to do anything about the national government. That's because there's not supposed to BE a big national government. You're supposed to care about the local stuff though. That's where the power to influence your day-to-day life is, and that's where you can have the biggest influence.

But, this guy said it so much better than I did:

Why you should at least register to vote (a youtube video)

He even gave some links to help you with getting started!

http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page

BallotPedia is "an interactive almanac of US politics" (according to them). You can find out what issues are currently being considered for the ballot, what issues were recently voted on, and who is currently in office, along with how to contact them.

Also, http://www.usa.gov/

An important site. Bookmark it. It doesn't just deal with big government stuff, it deals with local stuff too. Want to know about your credit history? They have links there to find it out for free. The REAL free ways, not the stupid "freecreditreport.com" which isn't actually free. Questions about taxes at any level? This is the site for you. Have a small business and want to know the current laws about it? They have a section for that. Concerned citizen looking to know about your laws and such? They have a section for that. You can find out how and where to register to vote, when the upcoming elections are and where they will be held.

Both of these sites are great resources for getting involved at a state and local level, not just the national level. Getting the attention of your state and local officials is a hell of a lot easier, and it's easier to make a difference here.

Happy politicing!


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Not-so Tiny Toys


I saw some videos that feminists are worried because girls toys and boys toys are kept in separate isles in the toy stores. Boy, is that being nitpicky.

I'm much more worried about the fact that parents these days can't say no. Why? I believe this phenomenon is behind the ballooning of all the little girl's toys which used to be tiny. Say what? Poly fucking Pocket. Have you seen what she looks like today? Body as big as a few fingers with a head like a bouncy-ball. The fear of lawsuits has ruined the wonder of being able to fit an entire world in your pocket. I wish kids today could have that wonder.

It being in the "little girl's isle" never stopped my brother! He and I collected the damn things. And we loved them. Polly was so tiny, and the animals she interacted with were even smaller. I loved it. I made tiny little clay animals, but they never got fired so they never lasted. These lasted. I was careful. I think out of hundreds of tiny pieces, I lost a whole 2. My brother and I would bring them into my bedroom and make little towns, nay, cities. Poly Pocket and the giant (in comparison) Littlest Petshop toys, all our sets arranged in a circle in the middle of my room. We left that thing up for two weeks, and it kept us busy in the mornings while we waited for Mom to get up.

We played nice with them. They were too small for us to do anything else. Give us Barbie and Beanie Babies and we started making guns and tanks out of K'Nex and Lego. But Poly, well, she was as small as the tiniest K'Nex piece! There was no way for us to do anything with that but build towns and play nice.

But today, you can't fit Poly's world in your pocket. You can barely fit Poly in your pocket.

So, why do I blame parents who can't say no? Well, think about it. These toys were tiny. They weren't meant for kids who still put things in their mouths. Back when I was growing up, a parent said "no", it didn't happen (in most households, there were a few with the spoiled kids). So parents could get away with "it's too small, you can have it when you're older." But now-a-days, that won't fly. So a three-year-old takes a liking to Poly Pocket, the parent gets it for them. And the three-year-old chokes on Poly Pocket. And the parent, instead of taking responsibility for having let their kid play with something before the kid has learned not to suck on toys, sues the company. And in today's legal system, they might actually win. It's a travesty.

And think of the religious applications. You know that song "he's got the whole world in his hands"? This could really bring that idea home for kids. (Despite not really being religious, I heartily believe that church was one of the things that saved me from the fate of many other foster kids. And what saved me from getting spoiled by that one family who bought me the army of Poly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop. The other half, of course, was the people, but with parents the way they are now, I have my money on churches.) I mean, you could put Poly's world in your hands and maybe get a glimpse of how hard God has it. You can't see much detail in Poly's world. The big things are all there but the little things don't exist to you. But they exist to Poly. Great explanation (if a tad unorthodox) for why God might not grant you that bike you prayed for. And why you should really only pray for the big things.

But no, instead, they have to make Poly bigger, so they can go into the details. Bigger, so you can't fit her world in your pocket. Bigger, so you don't have to be quite as careful to avoid losing the pieces. Bigger so you don't have to be smart enough to not put her in your mouth. Bigger so you can make guns out of K'Nex for Poly to go on a shooting spree.

Thanks.


Sunday, June 2, 2013

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Late to the running, as usual, my thoughts on the Daniel Tosh incident


So, sometime this past winter, Daniel Tosh got in trouble with the feminists.

Here's what happened:

1. Daniel Tosh asks the audience for a topic to joke about.
2. Someone in the audience suggests rape multiple times.
3. D.T. says that he won't make a joke about rape and asks for a different topic.
4. Woman in the audience gets mad at D.T. because rape was suggested as a topic.
5. D.T. deals with the heckler in the normal fashion by which hecklers are dealt, joking about them using the current topic in an offensive manner. (Yes, I have watched enough stand-up comedians do live performances to be able to say definitively that this is what always happens. Comedian is joking about something to do with mothers, audience member says he shouldn't joke about his mother because he should respect her, so comedian throws out a "your mom's so fat" joke. Just one of the many examples of this that I've seen.) He decides to go with "wouldn't it be funny if 5 guys decided to rape her right now?"
6. D.T. gets in trouble for "saying she should be raped."

Here's my problems with the situation.

1. The woman got mad at something an AUDIENCE member said, and decided to blame the comedian for it. Like the comedian is somehow responsible for everything that the audience does.

2. Instead of waiting until after the show to complain about it, she interrupts the show to complain.

3. D.T's statement did not say that she should get raped. He was just pointing out that it would be one of those not-ironic-but-funny-cause-it-figures situations if she did get raped after that.

4. The point of humor is to relieve pain. It's simple. All the best jokes are either painful to hear, or they involve someone getting hurt. We laugh as a way to deal with something unpleasant. That's why many people laugh when they're nervous. It's not fun, they don't like it, they're dealing with the fact that they have to experience something they don't like. Getting offended at someone finding humor in a bad situation is like getting offended at someone for blushing when their pants fall down.

And there's the crux of it. That's *WHY* the way for a comedian to deal with a heckler is to make a rude joke about the heckler using the current topic. The heckler is almost always complaining about the current topic. Thus, the comedian can release their frustration about the heckler in the most effective non-violent way- turning it in to humor.

Americans seem to like to forget that the person in the spotlight is only human. Maybe it's jealousy that the person has achieved something. Maybe it's their way of dealing with their own insecurities about their own abilities. I don't know. What I do know is that when you see someone mess up, remember that they are human, and find a way to laugh with them about their mistake. And for pete's sake, stop blaming performers for what their audience does!


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Step 1: Why does it happen?


I firmly believe that the first step in solving any problem is finding the cause to the problem. Oh, you might need to put some band-aides in place to stop the bleeding from the problem, but the problem isn't going to go away until you get to the root cause of it.

So, why do I become not-me? Well, people who know me rather well have a few theories:

Idea #1

Friend (paraphrasing):
"Maybe it's because you're always being submissive. You should take control more often."

Supporting evidence: I'm in a Dom/sub relationship, with a Dom. On camera, my aim is to please the customer, and since I'm not a mind-reader and SUCK at reading cues, this puts me in more of a submissive role more often. Among my friends, I'm really self-conscious and try really hard to please still, so submissive. There really isn't much in my life that I have complete control over.

Solution: Write more stories with me as dominant? Do more gold shows on Streamate?

Problems with the idea: The not-me episodes don't seem to correspond with my "I want to dominate!" moments. The "I want to dominate!" moments are rather fleeting, and really do subside once I do the domination fantasy writing.

Problems with the solutions: I tried writing domination fantasy this past week. My mind doesn't want to come up with any fantasy at all. When it does, I find I'm more interested in fantasizing myself being beaten and cut-up. Except, my conscious doesn't want that, so I'm suppressing my fantasies. Could that be part of the problem?

Gold shows don't work so well for me on a regular basis. I can't really sell them too well, and it feels awkward doing them for me. But, if a show for me is what I need to do, then it's what I need to do. So I guess I could try it.

Idea #2

Friend (paraphrased):
"We know that when two people hang out together a lot, one of them starts acting more like the other. I'm a lot like this, you're around me all the time, and you've been getting like this more often and for longer."

Supporting Evidence: aside from what is already mentioned in the paraphrased quote, the thinking is more in line with how that friend does think.

Solutions: embrace it, learn to harness it and control it.

Problems with the idea: I don't know of any.

Problems with the solution: only that if this isn't a permanent sort of change, then it might be impossible to do.

Idea #3

Self:
"This could just be the real me, suppressed for years by a desire to interact with people."

Supporting Evidence: as far as I can remember, this really is how I was when I was little. I mean, before I hit puberty, and before I started actively trying to make friends because I was told that having friends is a good thing. And because my greatest wish when I was little was to be more normal. Plus, if I recall correctly, this is how I get when I'm tired, and also something that has been popping out since college. I used to call it my "tiger self".

Solutions: dunno

Problems with the idea: The tiger self didn't quite feel the same.

Self:
"Or I could just be bipolar. I really don't want that to be the answer, but it is a possibility."

Supporting Evidence: certain biological family members who had bipolar disorder.

Problems with the idea: none that I can see

Solutions: get help

Problems with the solution: It's really hard to find a therapist these days who isn't TRYING to find something wrong with you. When I was younger, the therapists would spend half of the sessions reassuring me that there is nothing wrong with me, that what was affecting my family had no hold on me. If I go to a therapist now, and tell her "I think I might be bipolar, but when I was little I was being watched for it and they never saw it in me, so I'm not sure. I'd like you to make an objective assessment." what will happen? If they say I'm not, I'll be reassured. But if they say I am, then I'll always have this doubt in the back of my mind that they're just trying to make a sale of whatever drug they then prescribe. I mean, I could also be very insistent on "NO DRUGS." but... hm...

Besides, I don't have manic/depressive anymore. That seems to have just been the hormones from my birth control, and that's definitely gone. And the manic/depressive bit is gone too. So... not bipolar. Maybe multiple personality disorder? But, even though my memory of how I felt and thought during the other personality is difficult to find, and the memory of what I did is kinda fuzzy, it's still there. I do kinda remember it. I'm aware that I change personalities, I don't wake up wondering where I am and who is that.

----

My partner wants me to maybe go with it, see if I can find a happy medium between the me and the not-me. Keep the parts of each that I like and control the parts that I don't like. I don't know if it's possible, but I'd like to think that it is.

I like the logical bit of the not-me. I don't like the lack of self-control, the lack of restraint, and the lack of patience. I also miss being connected with everyone, like I am when I don't feel this way.

Bah, I have hit a wall in my thinking. Only way to go now is in circles, until I can find the passage out.


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Camgirl Fail- what not to do


Aside from the fact that I'm posting this at all, this is a good example of what I mean when I say "I am not me right now".

---

oldfun: hi61mtbg

(Me talking: I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means.)
(someone tips 2 gold and I show off my ass.)

oldfun: mmmmmmmmm
oldfun: havestockings

(Me talking: Is your spacebar broken?)

oldfun: putonstockings

Lady_Luna: oldfun, can you not hear me?
also, do you know how to use the space bar?
or is your space bar broken?

oldfun: likefeetmtbg

Lady_Luna: alright, so I'm guessing you think I'm some sort of fembot and responses are not necessary
unfortunately, proper communication requires two participants
so, good luck finding a mindless fembot

(I ban oldfun)

---

I just don't have the patience for it, but honestly, I shouldn't have done that last bit. He did not need to be humiliated like that. At the same time, it really is annoying that I was engaging him and trying to establish some actual communication, and he was just ignoring everything I said, and everything I typed. still, when I recognized that he was not going to take anything I said under consideration, I should have banned without a word.

Gentlemen: if you want to see something from a camgirl and she's addressing you asking questions, it's a good idea to answer those questions. Here's how it could have gone:

oldfun: hi61mtbg

(Me talking: I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means.)
(someone tips 2 gold and I show off my ass.)

oldfun: mmmmmmmmm
oldfun: havestockings

(Me talking: Is your spacebar broken?)

oldfun: yessorry

(Me talking: ah, if you could put periods where there would be spaces, it would be easier for me to read it)

oldfun: have.stockings

(Me: yes I do have stockings! it's 5 gold for me to put some on, or you can take me private and I'll wear them at no charge beyond the private.)

OR starting from:

oldfun: putonstockings

Lady_Luna: oldfun, can you not hear me? (and me not putting the bit about the spacebar, cause I really didn't need to be that rude..)

oldfun: noican't

Lady_Luna: okay, well, I'd appreciate it if you used spaces between your words. if your spacebar is broken, periods work rather well.

oldfun: sorry.stockings.

Lady_Luna: if you tip 5 gold I will gladly wear stockings, and let you pick them out! Or, you can take me private and I'll wear them at no charge beyond the private.

----

Of course, he probably wasn't going to tip or private either way, but still... I handled it badly. sorry.


Me, but not me...


This post leans heavily on the Jung Personality Types to explain some things about myself. If you do not know them, I suggest you look them up before reading further, but here's a brief explanation:

there are four parts to the Jung Personality, each of which has 2 possibilities, which yields 16 personality types. The four parts are:

Introverted vs Extroverted (I vs E)
Intuitive vs Sensing (N vs S)
Thinking vs Feeling (T vs F)
Judging vs Perceiving (J vs P)

The good tests recognize that you could be slightly to the one or the other, but not very much, and might have aspects of both sides of that part. But, it still places you in one or the other for all four. And each are always listed in the order given.

An introverted person finds dealing with people tiring, whether they enjoy it or not.
An extroverted person finds dealing with people energizing, whether they enjoy it or not.
An intuitive person favors intuition over their observations.
A sensing person favors their observations (senses) over their intuition.
A thinking person prefers to make rational judgements.
A feeling person prefers to make emotional judgements.
A judging person prefers structure and organization in their environments.
A perceiving person prefers open-ended and casual environments.

These are incredibly simplified. For a better explanation check out this page.

----

I am always introverted.

I will skip the middle two for now.

Judging and Perceiving swing back and forth for me, but I'm usually kinda strongly in preference for one or the other.

Now to the middle two. When I feel like myself, these two are N and F, intuitive and feeling. So when I feel like myself, I am INFP or INFJ. But, randomly, I'll switch. I never know which will switch first, but it starts with one, and then the other, will slowly rotate to the other side. When both are firmly in the other side, I become aware that I don't feel like I am me.

So what happens? Well, most people describe me as being bubbly, outgoing, kind, considerate, and a little air-headed. When I switch, I become bitchy, judgemental, impatient, hostile, and selfish. I hate being this way, but I don't know how to keep myself from switching. I have no way to predict when it's going to happen. Sometimes, it doesn't happen for three or four months. Sometimes, it happens every month or every other month. Sometimes, it comes in the middle of my normal times. Sometimes, it comes during PMS, sometimes, in the middle of Red Week, sometimes, in the tail end of red week and the start of normal times. I also have no way of knowing, once I recognize it, how long it will last. Sometimes, it's a week. Sometimes, it's a few days. Once, it lasted almost a month. I don't know what triggers it. I don't know how to switch back. I don't know how to tell it's happening until it's already happened. Examining it after it's in place sometimes reveals that I lost my feelings and started thinking heavily first, sometimes it reveals that I stopped being so intuitive and started paying more attention to facts first.

This is why I say I have a very changeable nature. The one thing that stays the same is that dealing with people exhausts me, whether I'm enjoying it or not. The factor that changes is how well I deal with people before I get exhausted by it. Think of it as having a short fuse vs having a long fuse.

But, right now, I'm an ISTP. I miss myself.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

It's working... IT'S WORKING!!!


My website, with the forum and everything, has been consistently viewable for the past couple weeks. Huzzah!

Now the only problem is how to make each part of my website show a different link... I will have to figure that out later. It's viewable, that's the important thing. Right? RIGHT!?!

I  had a slight problem with spammers the other day, but my partner and I managed to fix it. I figured out what I did wrong when I tried to delete the topics of the one dude. I deleted all his posts, which deleted his post without deleting the topic, so the topic was still there with no posts under it. Thus, the "this post does not exist" message. WEIRD. My partner showed me the quick way to delete through the moderator control panel. HOLY CRAP moderators have a lot of privileges. Now I understand why Amber doesn't let anyone else mod her forum. That's a LOT of trust to put in someone.

Also, I could've sworn that privilege was spelled privaledge... hm... *wonders if a word changed spelling on her*

You can find my website at : http://ladylunasplace.seraphimlabs.com/ Don't be afraid to click any links on there, if it takes you away from the site it has target="_blank" .

Edit: That is no longer the correct link to my website. You can find the website at http://ladyluansplace.com/ . Thank you for your interest!


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Adventures with Windows 8


So, I got an all-in-one for camming. The reasoning is that an all in one is almost as light as a laptop but is easier to get in the standards that camming requires. The horror is that the all-in-one uses Windows 8. OMFG this os is terrible!

First of all, they put the start menu into a whole new screen. I use the start menu a lot in normal computers. I put a ton of icons on it to keep them from cluttering up my desktop. I usually put accessories like paint, notepad, snipping tool, command prompt, and calculator up there. I also put the dick cleanup utility and the defragmenter up there for easy access. Lasly, I put document stuff like Libre Office Writer and Calc (the open source version of Word and Excel) up there, and use the "10 most recent items" jumplist to access the stuff I work on a lot in there. Then my start bar has the camera stuff and web browsers, leaving a few icons on my desktop like my computer, the main user folder, and any games I have installed. I also make the games menu a drop-down on my start bar for easy access to Minesweeper and soliatre, which I like to play while listening to youtube v-logs.

So now, instead of having a nice neat desktop, everything that usually goes on my start menu has been turned into an icon on my desktop, because I kinda need to access them without going away from the desktop screen if I happen to be camming at the time. Or watching youtube videos. Or writing... But it wasn't an easy task, getting them there. First, I had to add them to the start screen, then I had to right-click the start-screen icon and say "show in folder" or something like that. This took me to file explorer on the desktop, which works exactly like the normal file explorer on every other windows. Meaning, I right clicked and chose "send to desktop (create a shortcut)". Double checking proved that it did not create a shortcut to the shortcut cause numerous reroutes, it actually pointed to the same file the original shortcut pointed to. That's solved.

But my games, my beloved solitare, spider solitare, freecell, and minesweeper, are no longer available for the desktop screen. instead, they go to this horrible fullscreen version which doesn't let me do anything else without pausing the game, jumping to other screens, and coming back. (I will note, I have not tried alt-tab yet, but I doubt it will work.)

This is the most awkward thing I have ever tried to use. I just... ugh.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Small Penis Appreciation


So on ACF, a thread was posted. The initial post includes a penis picture, but if you want to see how it all played out, It's small, but it's cute is the thread in question.

First post text only (for those who don't want to see the pictures):

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"I posted this because I'm proud of it and I'm not ashamed of having a small dick. I keep a positive outlook on it. I'd rather have this really tiny cock and be good at sex than have a big dick and suck at it. I'm so confident in it that when I'm doing bedroom business with my girl, she screams "fuck me with that small cock" I get more determined to fuck harder to satisfy her more. At the end of the day it's ok though because I may be the smallest, but I'm also the best a few girls ever had. Please comment. I'm sure I'll get insults too. Come on with it."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I honestly don't feel like it's as small as he thinks it is, but whatever. The point here is, that the forum decided to believe that he was looking for free small penis humiliation (aka sph). I didn't get that from his post, but they ran with that and turned it into an MLP thread (our way of saying "this thread is worthless"). My post was, "WHY? Why is the assumption that anyone who claims to have a small dick is looking for SPH?"

And I really do want to know, WHY is that the assumption? What if his real intention was to get his dick talked up? What if he just wanted to show that having a small dick can be a good thing too?

On the subject of size- anything between 4 inches and 8 inches is a good size to me. 4" can usually reach my g-spot. 8" is usually enough to be pushing the back wall in quite a bit. 9 inches? OUCH! My kidneys!

Less than 4 inches- yeah, you're going to have to work real hard for my pussy to feel that, unless I'm having a small day (which happens, where only the first couple inches will fit before a lot of work). BUT, I would LOVE sucking on it! I mean, looking at a small dick (attached to a grown man is already assumed) makes my mouth water and my fingers itch. I want to cup it. To stroke it. To tickle it with a finger, or the tip of my tongue. To rub my cheek against it. To kiss it. To suck it. That is my natural reaction to seeing a small dick. (when I'm in the whole mood of wanting to please dicks, that is)

My message to members:

If you want your dick to be appreciated, take me private and show it on camera. If you want to be humiliated, you're going to have to specify that before you show me, or I won't be able to do it. But I hate humiliating someone...

My message to models:

If you see a small dick, or a member refers to their dick as small, don't assume they're looking for SPH. There are plenty of guys with what they think is a small dick who aren't into being humiliated for anything, let alone something that they had no control over.


Monday, April 1, 2013

Toilets, Bacteria, Force Fields


Something I learned a few years ago is that when you flush, you're throwing all that bacteria from the toilet into the air. Keep the toilet lid down, and it just gets on the lid, the seat, and on the very back of the toilet bowl rim (that spot right behind the seat between the tank and the bowl). Or all over your legs and ass if you're sitting on it. Ew, right?

Solution: force fields! Create a force field that won't let anything at all pass, and when the toilet is flushed, right before it starts spurting water put a force field in the bowl just above the jets of water. If you can make it a one-way force field so that stuff can still be thrown into the toilet, then you don't even have to set it to only activate while flushing. Just think, when you have a particularly lively trip to the restroom, you don't have to worry about back-splash!

I think this idea is genius, but it requires that they work on make force-fields compact and cheap. Then, it needs to be implemented in every single toilet in the world! Though, I figure, the first while, it'll just be a toy for the rich. Still, it'll make using and cleaning the bathroom a hella lot less disgusting, don't you think?


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Creating Forum


I have a forum. The link is this monstrosity.* For some odd reason, I can't add it to my link list in the side-bar. I'm also having trouble getting into the ftp server where the forum is to add mods. BUT, the forum itself works.

So, mods that I'm still working on adding:

-thanks button
-welcome pm
-style choices (one for each roygbv as well as dark red, gray, and charcoal)
-some admin stuff
-more smilies

But, for all intents and purposes, the forum is live. Don't worry, the backup function will be used any time I get a chance to put these mods into place. I have a feeling that once the forum is actually being used, my account will be taken more seriously and I can actually access the ftp servers more easily.

For now, I will continue attempting to connect every couple hours.

(please note: I can connect directly in a manner that allows me to upload one file at a time... but that would take weeks to upload everything I need.)

*Edit: there is a new link to the forum. Please go to http://ladylunasplace.com/forum instead. Thank you!


Sunday, March 24, 2013

MHRM


So, watching youtube videos back in January, I stumbled upon Feminism and The Disposable Male by GirlWritesWhat. Which led me to Look out! It's a Nice Guy! Destroy Him!!11! . So I started watching all the GirlWritesWhat videos. And then started watching ManWomanMyth, and watched the whole documentary. Then I watched everything Typhon Blue had posted. And now we come to today (yes, it took awhile.)

So I have a message, one for men, one for women, and one for society.

Men:

I'm sorry, and thank you.

I'm sorry for the way we've treated you. The way we've ignored you. The way we trample all over your rights in the name of equality. The way we decided that equality was supposed to mean equal outcomes, not equal opportunities. The way we push you into sacrificing for us, even when it's not needed. The way we take advantage of your good natures, and give you small thanks those few times we gave you any. The way we usually don't give you any thanks, and instead complain about the things you do for us.

Thank you. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your strength. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your sacrifices. Thank you for every time you've helped us, protected us, provided for us, sheltered us, and comforted us. Thank you for every time you've given us what we need, instead of what we want, despite our protests.

Women:

WAKE THE FUCK UP! Can't you see everything men do for you? Can't you understand that they have always had the short end of the stick? GET OVER YOURSELF! Try sacrificing your life for their dreams sometimes. Try sacrificing what you want for what they want sometimes. Try just letting them go, letting them have a piece of their lives to call their own! Treat them as though they were another woman!

Quit trying to change the game to suit your abilities. If you can't lift a man, you shouldn't take a job that might require you to lift a man! If you can't run a mile, you shouldn't take a job that might require you to run a mile. If you can't handle pressure, don't take a high-stakes job. If you don't want to take the blame, then don't take the credit either.

STOP THE FALSE ACCUSATIONS! Seriously, I don't care how mad you are at him, calling him a rapist is just not good. It's like if he accused you of murder, and managed to convince the entire country of it. Every time a woman makes a false accusation, it makes it harder for those who have a real problem.

YOUR CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHER. Stop cutting him out of their lives just because he didn't want to deal with your shit anymore. Stop randomly deciding to have a kid without letting the father know you want to do so. Children thrive in an environment where they know that both parents wanted them, and know that both parents are involved in their life. THAT is what is needed. Guess what? It's on you, the mother, to make sure they get that sort of environment!

Quit blaming others for your actions. Quit using what you did to them as evidence against them. Stop this madness!

Society:

Equal opportunity is not equal outcomes. Give everyone an equal opportunity. Forget about the equal outcomes. They aren't going to happen. Stop destroying the economy in the interests of having a "balanced" workforce. Jobs should be free to hire the best person, whether that's a man or a woman, no matter what race.

I don't know how to fix the taxes situation, but we really need to get back to the sort of society where two people can live off of one paycheck. Seriously! And what is this shit where any sort of discipline is viewed as abuse? What is this shit where enjoying the company of a child is considered abuse? There is nothing wrong with giving a hug. There is nothing wrong with sitting a child on your lap for a story. I don't fucking care what gender you are! It's only wrong if the man is getting a boner, or the woman is getting short of breath. Aren't there ways to monitor if a person actually finds a situation sexually appealing?

It might not be the man's fault if he's an absent father. How hard is it to look up in the court cases and see if he's not around because the mother decided he wasn't allowed to be? Why the fuck do you use that as "proof" that he's not a responsible father? Why not ask him "Why couldn't you take time to visit your children?" and actually believe him if he says "Because she wouldn't let me. She got a restraining order put on me." This is bullshit!
*    *    *

Okay, I think I feel better now.