Saying it to my face...

A lot of people don't like to hear that they were insulted behind their backs. They'd much rather whoever is insulting them say it to their face. I am not one of those people. Why? When you say something to my face, that gives it weight. To me, that means that you actually mean what you say. If you say it behind my back, you're just blowing off steam. I don't mean spreading untrue rumors. I mean the name-calling.

When I am insulted to my face, by someone I see on a regular basis, that has weight. That has meaning. That says that maybe I actually am this way. That hurts. When I hear that so-and-so called me such-and-such the other day, so what? If they really think I'm that, they can tell me for themselves. Otherwise, they probably didn't mean it. They probably were just frustrated with me. Who doesn't frustrate other people from time to time? Maybe that person just really doesn't like me, but we have no choice but to interact on a daily basis. Of course they'll justify their dislike of me by calling me names behind my back. But if they won't call me that to my face, then obviously part of them doesn't really believe that it's true. And so, it can't hurt me. If they call me that to my face, then they actually believe in what they are saying.

Now, people I don't interact with on a regular basis, they can call me whatever they want wherever they want. I'll probably cut them out of my life. But it's not like they really know me, so their words don't have any weight. They saw one or two things, but didn't see how I am day-in and day-out. Maybe it was a bad day. Maybe it was a bad situation. Maybe they caught my one weakness, but most of the time I'm much better than that. They have no way of knowing that.

So please, unless you really truly believe I completely deserve whatever you're saying, don't tell me about it.